Guys, I need your help for once

[RealTalk101]

This thread isn't about titties but I figured there's 15 of them on the front page so maybe we can use this one to have an adult talk.

I think I'm having one of those crossroads moments.

On one hand, I love my job and 90% of my clients are awesome

On the other, spas are exhausting.

I only work one day a week in the industry but sometimes it's still hard.

I'm at the point where I'm unsure if I suck it up and hope it's just a moment of weakness and will pass, or leave the industry all together.

It's been weighing on me for like, 4 months now so I don't see it getting any better.

Have you guys ever dealt with this in the real world? Or had a regular spa girl that maybe had the same conundrum? I'm listening and appreciate the feedback.

 

[gcoogieben]

I've known several spa girls who retired for some of the same reasons you mentioned and they never looked back.

Yes, they've been tempted to return because of the money. But at the same time, that environment - being surrounded by idiots both client and MPA's who don't know how to discuss about things outside the spa can stunt your mind and your ability to create other opportunities that can help you grow - financially as an entrepreneur as well as a wiser character.

Working at the spa is a short term event. For a reason. Girls who don't have their act together tend to be attracted to the easy way...unfortunately like TV, your cellphone, and fast food these things can all make you lazy. And it becomes a crutch to further growth.

The most precious commodity is your mind . It's a fertile garden that when taken care of properly produces an abundance of opportunities to feed your soul, your bank account, and your livelihood.

Surround it with weeds just because your accustomed to it doesn't mean it's a good garden.

If you've already been contemplating this for months then it's time to move on.

Good luck to your journey.

 

[LuvDaty]

This is tough.
Don't know who you are, what spa you work at, or your personal situation.
It sucks to have that feeling of dread, virtually every day, to have to go to a place you've grown tired of, and attempt to do well at your job. It not only effects your quality of work, but it wears on your "regular" life as well.

Dealing with the public in the "real world" beats you up. I can only imagine what you spa girls have to deal with on a daily basis. Suppose the strong girls stay true to themselves, and the weak either look for ways to deal, or flake out.

You obviously have a good head on your shoulders, and have managed to keep true to yourself. The question for me is - is it the spa you dread going to, or the work? I'm sure the cash is great, but is the work worth it?

In my personal experience, it was the work. Sales, dealing with the public. Worked for the same company for 12 years, loved the first 10. Moved to the competition, hated it, and didn't last 6 months. It was honestly the worst 2-1/2 years of my life. I turned into an ass at work and socially. It effected everything.
Changed my career path, and haven't looked back in over 10 years.

Hope this helps a bit.
Would enjoy talking in person

S

 

[Old No. 7]

Hopefully in amongst the 90% of your clients who are awesome, I hope here are a few who you've built a bit of a rapport with. A "relationship" that goes at least a bit beyond the standard client-MPA relationship. Maybe someone you've had meaningful discussions with before. Someone whose opinion you value. Someone you trust.
This is the kind of person you might want to have this discussion with.
He would know your situation and probably knows what a few other spas are like.

Good luck.
Whatever route you choose, there are good options if you choose to make things work.

 

[RealTalk101]

I'm just here, as a consenting adults, to make other consenting adults happy. Two adults having a good time, not hurting anyone. I'm not a drug dealer. I'm not killing anyone. Yet were thought of as lower than most. It sucks.

 

[LuvDaty]

I'm just here, as a consenting adults, to make other consenting adults happy. Two adults having a good time, not hurting anyone. I'm not a drug dealer. I'm not killing anyone. Yet were thought of as lower than most. It sucks.

Agreed...for the most part.
I believe It should be two consenting adults, having a good time. Mutual respect, mutual fun, mutual pleasure. And in the end, both parties are satisfied and happy, and you both look forward to the next visit.

 

[IronHearted]

You need to compartmentalize.

 

[NewB]

I'm just here, as a consenting adults, to make other consenting adults happy. Two adults having a good time, not hurting anyone. I'm not a drug dealer. I'm not killing anyone. Yet were thought of as lower than most. It sucks.

If you have a good client base, stick with it if the money is good enough.

 

[LostInnocence]

Tough call, RT. Back in the nineties when I was just getting established in my career, I was let go. Jobs were tough to come by for a few years. I really disliked my job and didn't want to stay in the profession, but it was hard to find a job in a related one that used the skills I had. I took some contract work which got me through until I found a job in my profession. I changed companies twice since then, but I use my University degrees in my profession and it is good.

Sometimes losing a job is the best thing for you. I don't know much about you, what education or employment history you have, other than entertaining us men. But you had to know that your profession retires women well before the age of 65, so you must have had some idea that the end of the road was coming and you'll either live off your savings (if you've been really successful and smart enough to plan), or else you'll have to find another job.

But if you are going to leave the industry, please let me know who you are first so I can come and visit you. I'm sure it won't be a dark part of your day!

 

[topo112]

" if it makes you happyyyy...then why are you so sad" the song says. If that environment drains your energy and you don't enjoy it then it would be better to adjust your life style and live a simpler more human life. Do you really need a $5000 gucci bag? You could go on a nice trip for less than that and have a great experience for life. Make enough money for rainy days, don't spend it on unnecessary things and make an exit plan. If you need to come back to spas work I'm sure they always need mpas. And when you earn enough go back to a peaceful life.

 

[RealTalk101]

Agreed...for the most part.
I believe It should be two consenting adults, having a good time. Mutual respect, mutual fun, mutual pleasure. And in the end, both parties are satisfied and happy, and you both look forward to the next visit.

100%. It actually ruins my vibe if I have to question if a client enjoyed himself, which happens with the strong silent type.

 

[RealTalk101]

You need to compartmentalize.

Elaborate

 

[RealTalk101]

If you have a good client base, stick with it if the money is good enough.

I have a great one. Unfortunately they can't always get apts if it's busy and I get stuck with whoever made an apt first.

I almost worry that working in a busier environment will actually hinder keeping that original client base.

 

[RealTalk101]

Tough call, RT. Back in the nineties when I was just getting established in my career, I was let go. Jobs were tough to come by for a few years. I really disliked my job and didn't want to stay in the profession, but it was hard to find a job in a related one that used the skills I had. I took some contract work which got me through until I found a job in my profession. I changed companies twice since then, but I use my University degrees in my profession and it is good.

Sometimes losing a job is the best thing for you. I don't know much about you, what education or employment history you have, other than entertaining us men. But you had to know that your profession retires women well before the age of 65, so you must have had some idea that the end of the road was coming and you'll either live off your savings (if you've been really successful and smart enough to plan), or else you'll have to find another job.

But if you are going to leave the industry, please let me know who you are first so I can come and visit you. I'm sure it won't be a dark part of your day!

I have options, and quiet a few of them. I guess it's just hard when the money is so high compared to real world jobs.

Then again, at what cost is it coming at? My happiness and mental well-being?

 

[RealTalk101]

" if it makes you happyyyy...then why are you so sad" the song says. If that environment drains your energy and you don't enjoy it then it would be better to adjust your life style and live a simpler more human life. Do you really need a $5000 gucci bag? You could go on a nice trip for less than that and have a great experience for life. Make enough money for rainy days, don't spend it on unnecessary things and make an exit plan. If you need to come back to spas work I'm sure they always need mpas. And when you earn enough go back to a peaceful life.

Lol honestly I'm frugal as hell. I travel. My most expensive bag is max $250, probably bought on sale at $150 instead.

My clothing is simple. I don't wear expensive jewelery. I don't wear heavy and expensive makeup. I rarely go out for drinks. I don't need to make anywhere near what I do, and I can't save it all because money leaves a trail and the government always wants in.

 

[RealTalk101]

Hopefully in amongst the 90% of your clients who are awesome, I hope here are a few who you've built a bit of a rapport with. A "relationship" that goes at least a bit beyond the standard client-MPA relationship. Maybe someone you've had meaningful discussions with before. Someone whose opinion you value. Someone you trust.
This is the kind of person you might want to have this discussion with.
He would know your situation and probably knows what a few other spas are like.

Good luck.
Whatever route you choose, there are good options if you choose to make things work.

Thanks. You're probably right. I can't give enough info on here for you guys to have a set opinion.

 

[JEG]

Thanks. You're probably right. I can't give enough info on here for you guys to have a set opinion.

I would second bjfan's advise. The caveat is that most guys really have no clue about the business. After 35+ years including being married 20+ years to an industry girl allows me some insight. I understand many of your points. The reality is that from your perspective things will not be getting better anytime soon.
What my wife says, this business is a get in, get out business. You keep the two seperate, focus on an acheivable goal and get out before the business eats you up. Keep the reward for the end.

 

[Ursus]

Ok. Let's play pretend and assume you are a woman who is actually a sex-worker at a local spa.

If the money you make is greater in value to you that the trouble of working for it, continue as is. If it isn't, then quit.

How hard is this to figure out? Ridiculous. There are scientists trying to figure out how to colonize mars, but you can't even figure out whether to quit being a hooker or not.

 

[JEG]

Ok. Let's play pretend and assume you are a woman who is actually a sex-worker at a local spa.

If the money you make is greater in value to you that the trouble of working for it, continue as is. If it isn't, then quit.

How hard is this to figure out? Ridiculous. There are scientists trying to figure out how to colonize mars, but you can't even figure out whether to quit being a hooker or not.

I think what happens for many girls is that they get "hooked" by the money, they then choose to reward themselves and waste it. The vicious circle.
Not everyone does a job that they are happy with, the difference with this "job" is that for many girls it eats them, drugs, alcohol use increase...

 

[Ursus]

The problem of hookers who can't leave the industry isn't about the money. Its the fact that they have the mentality to become a sex-worker. It is their personality that is the problem. They became a hooker because they have that lack of decency within themselves. They lack any concern for others and they have limited morality within them. That's why they become hookers. Their is a valid reason why hookers have been despised since the beginning of human civilization. They are scum. I am not promoting the abuse of hookers. I don't believe in hurting others. But, let's be real about what they are.