When a hobby suddenly becomes an Addiction

[PaMacJa]

NorthPole has a good idea, pick your favorite, see her exclusively, tell her you love her, and she will probably suggest you stop seeing her. This will sting enough that you might actually stop.

 

[WATCHA]

I am beginning to believe that I am spiralling out of control. My monthly spending habit on MPAs has doubled over the last 6 months. Other then the necessities i.e. food, clothing, shelter, the bulk of my income is being eaten away at this hobby. Or is this a hobby?
When do I admit to myself that I have to change my ways and find something more productive...a real hobby perhaps?
Many of you have offered great suggestions, ideas, etc. but it has been in vain. I am starting to hate myself.

 

[David L]

Some one named New Years Eggy did it, and that was the end of that.

 

[mohamed]

That's a good start. Read Confessions by Augustine and you'll understand the suffering he had to go through to overcome his addiction with alcohol and brothels. It's always a case of "one more time".

Stay away from this board and other review boards. You'll be surprised how quickly the temptation drops off.

Augustine notes that you'll never truly win over your temptation even if you stop the habit. Ultimately, you need to rediscover the person that you were before you began this hobby. You'll never be that person again (metaphorically you have sold your soul to the devil, and I don't mean this in a judgemental or even religious way), but at least you have a reference with which you can work towards.

Good luck.

 

[Javanoob]

To answer the question in your subject, the hobby becomes an addiction with the first MPA you visit

 

[756]

I hear you.

At one time, a few years ago, I was getting out of control too. Sometimes going to an MP 3 or 4 times a week and even when I wasn't, I was thinking about it. Definitely 2 times a week.

I don't think I actually ever kept acurate track of the money, but I was definitely doing the mental addition.

It got to a point where I literally had to start fighting the urge to go.

The best way I found to stop going was to give myself something else to do in my spare time (usually when I would partake in the hobby, but not always).

If I got busy on another project, I would lose interest in going.

Now, I would say my "hobbying" is at a completely acceptable and managable level. At most, twice a month I would say, at the least, once every 2 months or 3 months.

I read a review on massageplanet.net one time by a guy who said that he opened a separate bank account and every time he felt the urge to go, he would transfer X dollars (whatever he figured he would have spent) into that account).

I think he said he bought a harley after 2 years.

One thing you could try doing is masturbating when you have the urge to kill the urge.

 

[AHMAI]

I would agree with dydx - stay away from this board and any other review boards as well as any other things you would usually look at which may get your interest going such as the ads in Now/Eye etc.

james t kirk also had one thing you could concentrate on too, I guess, dull the urge somewhat (masturbating).... In all seriousness though, I'm sure this can help reduce the extent that you feel the need to go.

And as with the other suggestions, make sure you find something to occupy yourself with during the times that you would normally find yourself going to an MP. For example, if it is normally at lunchtime, go to a gym instead or something on a regular basis instead.

good luck.

 

[Well]

If it was only that easy for me. Since this post, I have gotten myself alot deeper into this mess. Your comments have certainly given me new perspective, but I haven't changed my habits....

bruce

 

[~ Poca ~]

I hear you, but I'm not sure that quitting cold turkey is really an answer.

Everyone has a reason why they hobby. If you quit hobbying, but fail to deal with whatever that reason is, you'll save some $ (temporarily) but you won't be happy.

If your reason is that you need variety in your sex life, I suggest you develop a "stable" of civilian girlfriends (however, this won't be much less expensive).

If you hate yourself because of the amount of money you're spending, and think you should be spending it on something else, that's an easy problem to solve - just spend it on something else before you can get out to hobby!

If it's the amount of time you're spending in hobbying, you're going to need to schedule yourself into other activities.

If you hate yourself because on some level you disapprove of the fact that you're paying for sex, I can't help you there, because every man pays for sex in one way or another!

Good luck to you, but I don't suggest you quit hobbying. I suggest you just start doing whatever it is you'd really like to be doing.

 

[chiped_wood]

You'll only change when you are ready to change, or forced to
(otherwise known as hitting rock bottom)

 

[Well Duh!]

IMO ask for referals to top-quality RMTs (try upto 3 imo) and stick with the RMT who improves your emotional and physical health. I even recommend seeing a male RMT(s) to seperate the image of massage and romance. Good luck.
ps St. Augustine's Confessions is a good read whether you're atheist or religious. Peace man.

 

[kaz716]

I've dealt with this problem in the past, I know what your talking about. It is addictive. So many girls to see... in my case I just slowed down the same way I got addicted - over time. Now I go about once a month. Fact of the matter is that all my favorite girls left the biz. That helped out alot!!!!

 

[Rosaline]

#1 thing every hobbyist should do is to set a budget and stick to it.

I know I can afford to spend $500-600/month and not any more and still be able to grow my bank account. That typically means either 2 sessions at the top end spas (HFH/IT/SRM/etc) or 1 visit there and 2 at the lower priced spas in a month. If I go over my limit I notice the bank account not growing or even draining and that's the wake up call. That's when it's time to go cold turkey for a while.

Typically, I try to go 1 - 1 1/2 months without even hobbying twice a year. Usually, mid-December to end of January is a no-hobby period then i try to find another one in the Summer. After awhile, the urge starts to dimish then you can either quit outright or start up but at a slower pace. I find the key is to force yourself into a "Fasting period" where you just don't hobby. Also, important is to keep an eye on the bank account during this fasting period and watch that account climb so that hobbying and what it is costing you in always in the back of your mind before you venture out.

Note: we are coming up to a perfect time to go cold turkey = The Olympics. Glue yourself to the TV while they are on (a little over 2 weeks) and avoid hobbying. Distraction from hobbying is a big key as well.

 

[Phat_Rabbit]

I agree, it is either sheer willpower (ready to change) or a crisis (forced to change). Halfway measures or the occasional sip at the well will not do the job. A pattern that incorporates an increasing level of carelessness to get caught, to get a disease, to run out of money, whatever, would not be atypical.

I'm not preaching, I just feel for you and know what you are thinking (all too well!).

 

[Prodigal Son]

Wake up and smell the coffee ... you are spiralling out of control. You are admitting it openly.

Admit it NOW. Then you can help yourself. None of the people here can help you, unless they are physically with you 24/7.

It has only been in vain because you have not acted upon any of the suggestions.

I know, I have the same problem. I have already admitted it to myself and have taken the first step. I am helping myself one day at a time. Yes the urge hits you, your head swings when you drive by every flashing neon sign!

I have cut down, am down to once a week. My goal is once a month and then I will re-evaluate myself. I can't go back into that hole again.

You can only face it by confronting it !!!

Good luck Bruce

VBB

PS. Sorry to be harsh, but you have to be that on yourself to get over this.

 

[korgrue]

Ha, that's the truth. I remember that I would be driving down different streets and I would always find the MPs, no matter how discrete they were packaged. Sometimes, my car would just make the left.

Hobbiests can smell these places from km away.

Even the first time I went to SRM for example, I didn't pay much attention to the address, but I knew what area it was in.

I found it.

You just know.

 

[Mary Boo]

It would only become an addiction to me if I could find the ultimate BBW dame. (the chubbier the better)

 

[Christopher L]

When I went through a time where I was going more than once a week and decided it had to stop, I ended up masturbating more often (discovered internet newsgroup downloads) and replacing MP visits with RMT visits... I ended up seeing an RMT about once every 2 weeks for six months before I was ready to start hobbying again on a bi-weekly to monthly basis.

 

[Lady Cadilaq]

This won't be helpful to everybody who has concerns about addiction because it just doesn't fit all guys' circumstances, but here's what I do: I limit my hobbying to what can be supported by a distinct revenue stream OTHER THAN MY SALARY. In my case I used royalties from a book I wrote, but I started to feel that even this was too much. These days, the revenue stream I use is whatever I can win from regular poker pals. Some months are good, some not so much.

 

[Jorbie]

I know where you are coming from Bruce, I really feel for you. I was in that position more than once. Sometimes I would think that I knocked it only to get knocked down the following week and being more deeper in the hole.

I don't really know what worked to at least get me out of the hole and in a position that at least for now seems managable. The urge is always there, I can't help myself but then again I know I can.

All the advise given is good, but in the end you know the answer lies within you.

To be honest at present I don't think that I will ever quit this hobby unless something tragic causes a life changing experience, but I do know that if I ever do ... this board will never hear from me again.

VBB