Review: Alex @ EuroHeaven.

[Steven H]

I ended up @ Euroheaven, after calling Allure (Brittney was booked, no one else significant available) and SRM (Only Sophie and Riley were working but neither were available for the next 2 hrs).So you guys can call it "Pulling a Milupa" or at least pulling a bit of it. (Although Euro Heaven is right in the middle of the other 2 spas.).
Haven't been to this place in a few months and the thoughts of seeing Pamela who is extreme fun was just a good enough reason to visit.

After arriving there a got greeted by a short red haired, older EE person who told me that only her and another girl was available and also informed me that Pamela does not work there anymore (SHUCKS!).Anyhow the other lady introduced her too, who was an older blonde. I was just about to leave when in walks this young, tall blonde wearing an extremely heavy jacket. I asked that if she is working, they said yes but she is new, I said it is fine, so they showed me in.
Alex is her name, she walked into the room soon (wearing the same jacket) asked me about what kind of session we were having. My reply was Body Slide so I paid her the dues.
Underneath the heavy jacket she was wearing a nice denim mini skirt and a lovely blue top. Although she looked "top heavy" initially but without the jacket she pretty much looked boobless.She got rid of the clothing soon and started working on my back. Looks wise she is about 5'.7"-5'.8" tall, with nice and stylish shoulder length blonde hair, pretty nice facially too. With a slim and lean body, nice long legs, fair size graspable behind, nicer long neck but her chest was even flatter then some guys so it was the first major turn off.
Any how she poured some baby oil on me (Thank god they are using odorless oil now), while I tried to start an ill conversation... She told me that she is new to the country and the massage business too. She is from Ukrainian decent (Her English was pretty good for someone new from Ukraine).Her massage was just a very light uninspired body rub (In fact all of her actions were telling me how much she detest her job).

I got bored after 10 minutes (She was bored to begin with).at that point she jumped up on the table and started the back BS, Which although was not great but was very sensuous mixed with a fair amount of Lk.
A few minutes of that and then she asked me to turn over. Instead of doing that I asked her to switch for the NR part .Historically I have turned disastrous sessions into great ones with my great massage technique (Not Easlen) LOL. But this time it was a different story as she was just not showing any interest and was not responsive to the touch. There were no restrictions but she showed no signs of life and I am definitely not into Necrophilia. So we switched again.

Although I was so bored and was so much turned off that it was hard to stay hard but she did finish me in a few minutes. There was no frontal BS either but honestly speaking by that time I just wanted to get out of there.
Overall a major disappointment once again at another lower end spa. I think it was my 4th or 5th bad one in a row .So a repeat is not going to happen anytime soon.

Ratings:
Face: B+
Hair A
Boobs: D
Ass: B+
Body Overall: B
Massage: C
Attitude & Personality: D
Back BS: A
NR: C
Front BS: None
Finish: C but some how she did finish.
Overall: C
Repeat: No Way.
Donation: $120.00

 

[LoNely GirL~]

Thank you for TOFTT. Enjoyed the very detailed review, even though it was not a winner.

 

[mukeshgupta]

Milupa:

Such a great line, I just had to acknowledge it! This could give rise to a new massageplanet.net adjective - "milupian"

 

[Pompal 09.]

That was by far the worst ever response i ever got from my massage.In fact there was no response period.
First "Pulling a Milupa" and now a "Milupian" what's going to be next ?????

 

[Ritsuka~Nya]

OW !!!

I don't know what is going to be next but I can't wait.

Too bad your session was not up to par but we can't win them all.

Nice Review Big M.

VBB

 

[Missy.]

I've probably seen only one MPA in all these years who had a chest flatter than some guys .... looked like "two pimples" where the breasts should have been. The slide felt really weird.

Nice review, Big M.

 

[herblaura]

I was going to quote that too but didn't want to dredge up any more memories beyond the review writing phase ... I guess it's too late now.

Damn, that just brought up some of my old memories ... damn you TLM.

VBB

 

[Cynthia]

My sincere apologies VBB ... it's not that bad taking a trip down memory lane once in a while.

 

[Low]

Milupia- a heavenly place where all the ladies are blonde and big titted and they all slide like a motherfucker.

Another stellar report from the table Big M!

 

[KarinaGia]

This is very serious that I have consulted the Scholars at Delphi !!!

They tell me that there is a long lost ancient race of people who called themselves the MILOPIANS who developed their own language far before sanskrit !!!

They left normal society because they were too tall for the shower stalls and became a wandering tribe. Not many of the direct descendants are left over but I believe that we truly have one in our midst.

Also of that lost age there are rumours of a fabled tome called the MILUPAEDIA - an encyclopaedia of knowledge based on body sliding, that was said to be hidden away by the Knights Templar.

Little is known today of the Milopians or there wherabouts, but some say that when the moon is full, and the timing is right, you just may see one, leaving that MP that night.

VBB

 

[yoshiii]

I heard Dan Brown's new book will be called "The Milopi Code".

 

[Mejo]

I didn't know that the people @massageplanet.net were that smart,So it looks like my identity has been revealed.Anyhow there is no point in crying over split milk.

VBB, As you know how lazy i am and how proficent you happen to be ,why don't you take over the task of getting the "First modern day version of the MILUPAEDIA" published.

 

[Colby]

I like the whole concept of "Milupia".The only problem is there is going to be no room for you there,or on second thought we might make a little room for for all the Latin hotties there just for you.

 

[Nicnac]

How come you guys haven't come up with a term using my massageplanet.netian name?

I say, I pulled the ol' waraxe on her and she was terrified, yes she was!!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

What do you think the bunch of us guys are doing ? We are studying you and writing what we find in this forum ! I am still waiting for National Geographic and NOVA to return my calls.



You never asked.



We have to work on your social skills, have your people get in touch with mine ... waves hand pretending to hold a cell and mouths "call me"

VBB