How to stay away....

[Lores R]

it's been well documented how this hobby has addictive tendencies. I am at a point now where I need to move forward, stop spending money so aimlessly, and get my shit back together. I had a girlfriend 2 years ago and that kept me from going. But ever since the break up, it's been a terrible consumption on my wallet. Please advise.

bruce

 

[larzzyl]

im with ya man...but hey look on the bright side, I think of it as we're keeping the ECONOMY flowing

Roby Capone

 

[sjwanderer]

Find another Girlfriend. Don't go looking for one in clubs. They are all eye candy.

Or, go on those chatlines, there are always girls looking for a quickie.

Best bet, give your debit card to your mum, or transfer all your money into 2 year locked GIC's

 

[seamstress]

thanks Gimme, for the advice. Finding a girlfriend ain't that easy. I've tried lavalife for the past 3 months but so far no one wants anything to do with me. Bar scene definitely not for me. Work romances are bad....been there, done that. Don't know what else to do.

 

[Paige A.]

Both you and Aristotle are right. We men have a tendency to take something bad, and make it worse. I am a culprit myself when I did that.

I was just joking around above. Those chatlines are not that good. Generally, men pay to get on it, while women don't. So you get a lot of young girls looking for some money to smoke their dope, and they will try to trick you, or worse yet, a group of them might try to beat the money out of you.

The problem I think is you are still feeling down. Going to the clubs and etc just does not cut it. I've been downtown on Saturday nights for the past couple of weeks, only thing is I get a major woody by looking at all the hot chicks.

Honestly, a girl dress really sleezy is not out to pick up. You might get the occasional and get a quickie, but most of the times the girl is out having fun teasing us men. You have to go to places where the women are more appropriately dressed, then you can have a chance.

If you are looking for long term and marriage, then go to church, do not pass go, do not stop at an MP, go to church, and you'll find her

The best I can suggest to you is, don't get yourself hoocked on a specific MPA. I know it might be hard, but maybe you just need a bad experience to turn you away from MPA's and get back to finding a GF.

 

[Jonas S]

Good Advice Guys. Aristotle & Gimmie.
I guess it can be pretty conveinent to go see an MPA
when the urge strikes as opposed to going through
the hell of finding a girl/good girl. I feel sorry for guys
sometimes because I see how some girls are so cock tease
at clubs and other places. A lot of mind games.
Women can be so hard to figure out.

I think that a lot of it is psychology. Many women (unfortunately) respond to reverse psychology. Pretend you don't want her, keep turning her down, and sure enough, she'll want you. Not all women. But many.

Example:
At my work, there is a customer who gets massaged mabye
twice a month. Regular massage. No release. Gets a topless
minimum. After 5-6 months of this, the girls start to wonder.
He is average looking, super super nice, not a lot of $$, average
blue collar worker, great to talk to. Eventually, the girls start
to wonder. HMMM, "Why doesn't he take a release, why doesn't
he try to touch". "Why doesn't he ask me out?" HMMMM!
Sure enough, the curosity level is peaked. "What's so good
about him?" "I'll get him, men don't turn women down"
"Why doesn't Joe want me?" "Every guy wants me?" HMMM!

Extra attention is paid to "Joe" Refresh the make-up
before "Joe", extra squirt of perfume" before Joe, overly
friendly and helpful for "Joe",big smiles and sensual laughs before "Joe".
The extra interest in "Joe" is because Joe is unattainable.
You want what you can't have.

 

[Prabhupadanuga]

Thanks for that Red. It does make perfect sense. I've experienced it at clubs. Where hot women are crowded by men trying to get in there and grind with them. As recently as this past Saturday night, around 5 guys around 2 girls, I just waited outside and danced by myself. I was just enjoying myself. The two girls left those other guys and danced with me. It was fun. We talked, and laughed, joked, and thats about it.

I guess MPA's work the same way. I guess my opinion of MPA's were a bit different because for an MPA its a source of income, so I expected most of it to be fake enthusiasm. But, the theory works there too.

So were do you work?

 

[Ryan I]

One sure fire method to staying away I know...

Is staying the hell away from massageplanet.net. No joke. this place just MAKES you even more addicted cuz ur looking for that "fix" or the next gem.

Stay away my friend. I've tried and it's too hard. It's the ultimate time waster and eventually, it leads to a drained wallet too.

My $0.02

- Dissey23

 

[magul]

All I know guys is you only live once and enjoy while you can!

 

[maggie]

Gimmie, I don't advertise on massageplanet.net. Just talking to you
guys through the wire!

But I'm flattered you guys want to see me just because
of my wit! He He!

I know you guys want more than just a hot chick to
massage you and release. The busiest girls are
friendly, down to earth, give good massages,
with some form of intelligent conversation and a
nice mix of sensual sexuality and open-mindedness.

The above doens't apply to what every customer
wants because you get guys who are married and
paranoid and just want to run in and get off.
But for the most part, the massage for many
customers is a huge physical encounter that
requires a GFE or similar experience. Which I personally
think is sweet.

 

[Greybeard]

Gimme, I thought about going to church but I am not an overly religious person. If I did go, I would feel like a hippocrate of sorts. Also, what do I say to the person in church who strikes up a conversation with me about God? Do I tell him/her the truth? I am here just to meet nice women?

bruce

 

[dlc8675]

Hey Bruce:

Some nights I'd leave the MP feeling WORSE than when I first arrived, and then it dawned on me...

I was looking for INTIMACY rather than SEX....

If you can train yourself to separate the two, which I had to do, then set yourself a strict budget and pick two MPA's that you really like and alternate... The reason I say two is that you'll avoid becoming attached to one...

Also, understand that a small number (but certainly not all, so please no flaming) of MPA's will view your desire for intimacy as a weakness and suggest a relationship is possible in order to get you back spending $$$$. I've had this happen ONCE and could have kicked myself for being so gullible....

One the second time (after retraining) I just laughed and changed the subject...

With regards to long term intimacy, well, that may take a while unfortunately.... Unless you're Brad Pitt you probably won't have the girls lined up, but there ARE things you can do to help yourself.

1.) Diet and Exercise... When you look better you feel better about yourself. I've lost 15 lbs since January by not keeping junk food in the house and kick boxing 3 nights a week... I feel damn good, and to see my shorts from last summer slide down my hips is a confidence booster....

2.) Upgrade your wardrobe. Take a few sessions worth of money and buy yourself some nice stylish clothes....

3.) Work on any personal "baggage" you may have...
IE>> see a counsellor or read some self help books

My favourite is called "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway..."

The author basically discusses the fact that only YOU can change your life and only YOU are responsible for your happiness...

If you can offload alot of the sh!t in your life you'll feel better and will come across more confident...

As Red said, people want what they can't have and by coming across as attractive and confident with a "so what" attitude, you're more likely to arouse a woman's curiosity than if you come across desperate....

Yes, lavalife is "A" way to meet women, but you can't rely on that only.... do you have any interests where you could socialize with new people???

..... and if all of this sounds like I've "learned from experience", you're d*mn right... I haven't been divorced a year yet and the whole dating world is MUCH more intimidating at 37 than at 25....

Good Luck

 

[midnighteden]

Indn_Lover, I feel your pain brother....
My self esteem right now is at an all-time low. It's funny though. At work, I am considered by my colleagues to be confident, focused, successful and being a positive influence. But deep inside, I feel empty, lost and having no direction. I work longer hours because it keeps my mind off things. Work has been a blessing inspite of my feelings...thank goodness for that.

 

[allforjehovah]

Excellent advice Indn.Lover.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Theycallmebruce, oh your such a sweetie. You sound
like a very nice person who needs to find a girl who
can see the "forest through the trees". I hope you get
that expression.

 

[tehabwa]

Try doing some volunteer stuff in some area that interests you. An excellent way to meet like-minded females.

 

[Soar]

Bruce, MPs or Girlfiends are both a killer on the wallet. Just go with the flow.

The only real solution is to make more money.

In the meanwhile, cooking classes and the gym are very good ways to invest your time. Less free time = less MPs.

Wait until you get married. That is when all your money goes down the tubes!! If you ever get divorced!! You're just screwed for life.

Go with the flow, it's hard to control what role women play in your life. While we are waiting, we just need to get released once in a while.

 

[Stirfry0]

I'd suggest a new girlfriend or re-establishing a connection with your current SO.

For me, hobbying was about getting something I wasn't getting from my real relationship. What are you looking for? Variety? Big Boobs? A thrill? Attention from a girl who wouldn't look at you twice otherwise? I used to think it was those things, but all I really wanted was intimacy.

As for girlfriends costing the same as hobbying, I disagree. A good woman's not hard on the wallet. If she cares about you, she'll want you to live within your means, if that means a romantic picnic or eating at home rather than fine dining, a good woman would encourage it. A good woman wants you, not your money. Sadly, MPAs only want the latter. (Not saying there aren't some MPAs who are good women, but the guys they really care about don't pay them for their time).

Put your money and energy into something real and watch the savings begin!

 

[hot lips]

I gotta find me one of those frugal women. I can't find a good one either. That's why I say go with the flow and hope that you meet one somewhere. You'll never find one if you go out looking.

Unfortunately I am a sucker for buying gifts. I keep giving them crap that costs too much. Don't get me wrong, I try not to spend too much money until I am fooled into thinking that they will receive it with some heart.

That's why I sometimes prefer spending my money in an MP. Good return for your buck with the help of all you massageplanet.netites.

 

[awe_sum802002]

I partially agree with you flyboy, you'll never find one if you just go out looking, you have to make them come to you, they choose us.

That said, there's nothing wrong with making yourself a good choice.

Take care of yourself, mentally and physically. When you're looking and feeling good and exuding positive energy and confidence, the women will be everywhere. There's few things more attractive than a positive, confident guy who's got his shit together.

You know how good you feel after a great session? Remember not having to pay for it? That's the ticket to staying away.