Chat Jokes please

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[farmerstan]

Dad, why did you and mom name my sister Teresa? Well son, Easter is special to your mom and Teresa is an anagram of Easter. Oh wow, thanks dad. Your welcome Alan.

 

[snoopdoggie]

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Confirmed. I hate Toyota Coronas.

 

[snoopdoggie]

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She likes his money.

 

[snoopdoggie]

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Don't get any ideas.

 

[loves to lick]

Secretary

Smile - life is too short not to!! If this brightened your day Don 't let it stop here Pass it on with a smile Keep spreading the Cheer. ...have a GREAT Day!!!​

 

[loves to lick]

TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR Two women were sitting next to each other in a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .' The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!' The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?' The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.' The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?' The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.' The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?' The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course..' The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.' The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!' About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.' Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?' Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.

 

[loves to lick]

S trong Coffee A Newfie woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said... 'He won't even take an aspirin.' ... 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him a'Newfie Viagra'... 'What is Newfie Viagra?', she asked. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..' It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!' 'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!' 'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good? 'Freakin' jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton’s again!

 

[loves to lick]

Blow Dryer Mishap:
A good lesson

Bob's wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing?

Apparently, "heating up your breakfast" was not the right answer

 

[loves to lick]

"National Penis Day" (I kid you not!!!) I only forwarded this to you because some prick sent it to me!

 

[snoopdoggie]

Secretary

​

Smile - life is too short not to!! If this brightened your day Don 't let it stop here Pass it on with a smile Keep spreading the Cheer. ...have a GREAT Day!!!​

Good advice.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Blow Dryer Mishap:
A good lesson

Bob's wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing?

Apparently, "heating up your breakfast" was not the right answer

Maybe he should stick it in the toaster. Ha ha ha ha.

 

[loves to lick]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[snoopdoggie]

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Ha ha ha ha ha. I guess that was enough to convince him.

 

[cupcrazy]

Darwin's law of evolution explains why the ecosystem eliminates alpha males.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Darwin's law of evolution explains why the ecosystem eliminates alpha males.

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He's not really asking for much. All 36 items he listed are all pretty easy to do. He's not asking her to be a rocket scientist.