Translating MPA talk...

[OG_funguy]

1. Hi, my name is Suzie (translation: and also Sophie and Jessica and Coco and Kiki...)
2. I have only been doing massage for 2 years (translation: well, 20 years if you include the places before)
3. I only work here honey and no where else (translation: plus Mon at X, Tues at Y, Wed at Z, etc.)
4. I am divorced (translation: well, I do have a husband in China but that doesn't count)
5. I only had sex with two men in my life (translation: customers don't count!)
6. No other customer has my real number, just you (translation: well, plus a bunch of other clients that I have known for years)
7. I only did that with you and no one else (translation: well, maybe 50 others but I only did it with them for the money...honest)
8. I really prefer your looks and body type, it's just perfect for me (translation: well, I also like young guys, old guys, skinny guys, fat guys, etc.)
9. Oh yeah honey, just like that...oh, oh I'm cumming now! (translation: fuck...this guy is taking too long, I better make up some shit)
10. Honey, that was great, please come see me again (translation: hope that cheap, smelly bastard never comes back)

 

[TheKWguy]

Fixed it for you

Honey, that was great, please come see me again (translation: hope that cheap, smelly bastard comes back and tips more)

 

[Dongo]

LMAO

 

[OG_funguy]

1. Honey, you smell so nice (translation: holy fuck, did this guy fall into a pile of shit before coming here)
2. [Right after the flip]...wow, you have such a nice body (translation: And these losers think I have a mummy tummy...jesus, his tits are bigger than mine!)
3. [Before daty]...honey, not a good time, I'm about to have my period (translation: three customers pounded me one after the other right before you)
4. [During daty]...oh fuck, oh fuck, slow down, you're making me cum again! (translation: wow, this is the easiest $100 I've ever made!)

 

[cupcrazy]

honey you have a nice cock: Wow your cock is so huge, I don't know if I can take it in my pussy. I hope there are ice cubes inside the fridge
Honey are you cumming now? Fuck! how long does it take for this guy to cum.

 

[henricas]

oh baby your cock so big = You have to pay extra if you want FS

 

[IronBoss]

 

[OG_funguy]

Best scene in a A Few Good Men...I can watch it over and over again.

 

[Whitesnake1987]

This is funny

 

[LittleCarrot]

#9

 

[OG_funguy]

This is funny

LOL, are you trying to be the fastest guy to reach 1000 messages?

 

[OG_funguy]

Some more...

honey, what is this 'massageplanet' you're talking about, I never heard of it (translation: stupid idiots, don't they know half the reviews are written by us)

honey, your skin is so smooth! (translation: ok, take a deep breath...I can do this, I can do this...just like petting a dog)

honey, I love rimming and would be happy to do for you! (translation: at least this way, you won't dare try to stick your hideous tongue in my mouth)

honey, let's switch positions, I love taking it from behind (translation: if I have to see your face, I won't be able to sleep soundly for a week)

[After fs]...honey, please throw out the condom for me or else I can get in big trouble (translation: the garbage is already full of used condoms, pretty soon it's going to start leaking cum everywhere)

[After fs]...OMG honey, you were really incredible and your dick is so big, I came 3 times! (translation: when you weren't looking, I put a ton of lube up my pussy and couldn't feel a thing)

 

[snoopdoggie]

Some more...

honey, what is this 'massageplanet' you're talking about, I never heard of it (translation: stupid idiots, don't they know half the reviews are written by us)

honey, your skin is so smooth! (translation: ok, take a deep breath...I can do this, I can do this...just like petting a dog)

honey, I love rimming and would be happy to do for you! (translation: at least this way, you won't dare try to stick your hideous tongue in my mouth)

honey, let's switch positions, I love taking it from behind (translation: if I have to see your face, I won't be able to sleep soundly for a week)

[After fs]...honey, please throw out the condom for me or else I can get in big trouble (translation: the garbage is already full of used condoms, one more and it's going to start leaking cum everywhere)

[After fs]...OMG honey, you were really incredible, I came 3 times! (translation: when you weren't looking, I put a ton of lube up my pussy and couldn't feel a thing)

Some of you guys should be hired as joke writers for the Tonight Show. You're almost as funny as Jay Leno.

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

Some of you guys should be hired as joke writers for the Tonight Show. You're almost as funny as Jay Leno.

Jay Leno hasn't been the host of the Tonight Show for almost 6 years now moron! You really are an out of touch geriatric. SMH.

 

[Hangdai]

Honey, there's more between us than just sex. (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, I enjoy talking with you. (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, I look forward to our visits together (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, you have a good heart (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Or this might be easier,
_________________(any words from her mouth)
Translation= give me more money or stop fucking me.

 

[SaggyBallz]

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time (cue the applause)!!!

 

[krayjee]

Honey, there's more between us than just sex. (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, I enjoy talking with you. (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, I look forward to our visits together (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Honey, you have a good heart (Translation: give me more money or stop fucking me)

Or this might be easier,
_________________(any words from her mouth)
Translation= give me more money or stop fucking me.

You missed out one.
Honey , I don't need to sell my body. ( Translation means, I love sex and nothing wrong with taking money from guys I am fucking with )..

 

[Hangdai]

You missed out one.
Honey , I don't need to sell my body. ( Translation means, I love sex and nothing wrong with taking money from guys I am fucking with )..

Had to bite my lip whenever she used that line.

 

[Happyman]

I now live with a dog in a Condo, therefore I am not working on Sunday anymore

Translation I now live with my BF.......

That's exactly what a MPA said to me once. I did not want to do the translation in front of her.

 

[vanelric]

"I just got my G1 and I'm learning to drive with a truck"

Yeah she got a man