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TWENTY DOLLARSOn their wedding night, the young brideApproached her new husband and askedFor $20.00 for their first lovemakingEncounter. In his highly aroused state,Her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they madeLove, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it...
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate...
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You...
This is very tongue in cheek, and best imagined to be said in a typical John Cleese type 'rant'.
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
by John Cleese
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and...
Cool tongue twister... see if you can take up the challenge! Make sure you get every single word right! Read the following passage and then follow the instructions at the end. Read loudly, to yourself -
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This...
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.
"Well...
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