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The confused client and her hard-headed doctor

Thegustaffa

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I have been seeing this lady as a client of mine for about three months now. She was referred to me from another massage therapist, who worked on her for several months before me.

As I work on my client, I always feel these large masses on her thighs right above the back of her knees. I also feel these masses in her upper arms and on the front of her lower legs, but those areas are not as large. When I discussed these problems with the other massage therapist, she ventured to think that the client had fibromyalgia, which was a concern in the back of my mind as well.

Eventually I coaxed the client to get tested for fibromyalgia, but her doctor brushes her requests off like she doesn't know what she's talking about. And to make matters worse, the client's own daughter, who is half her age, was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year!!! My client also suffers from arthritis really bad in her knees and shoulders and has vericose veins in her legs which prevents me from doing most deep-tissue work. But the client isn't satisified with the massage unless she feels pain; in her mind, she has to feel pain in order to be relieved of her stresses.

I am at a complete and total loss as to how to help this woman, especially if her doctor won't confirm our belief. Do any of you have any suggestions as to what I could do to make her massage a more beneficial and enjoyable one? Any suggestions would be irrefutably appreciated. :?
 


My only thought is she needs to see a new doctor. Any doctor who does not listen to his patient is almost worthless as a physician. I know insurance can make it difficult, but it can be done. No harm would be done by testing her for fibro, so there is no reason for refusing to confirm or rule it out.
 


My sentiments exactly! But how do you tastefully suggest to someone that they should seek an entirely different doctor? I brought the idea of seeking a second opinion up, but she's content with her doctor's diagnosis.

***THE MOST DIFFICULT CLIENT IN THE WORLD***!!!!!!!! Makes you just wanna SHAKE something!!!!
(And I say that with love) :D
 


Well, that certainly makes it more difficult!! I guess there isn't much you can do. I think I would concentrate on relaxation massage, explaining all the health benefits and how simply reducing stress and increasing circulation can have a huge positive effect on her overall health. Improving the overall health has no drawbacks.
 


I'm with Sharon. Unfortunately, if this client wants to live in pain without so much as a second opinion, that's her choice :( It's hard for us to watch clients in pain that simply won't do anything about it that you KNOW could help, but whaddaya do besides helping her relax and giving her the best care you can. You can lead a horse to water, etc.

But, on another note, a VERY qualified and knowledgeable massage instructor of ours told us that often, Fibromyalgia is what she called a "wastebasket diagnosis". In other words, "we can't find what's wrong with you but we're going to slap an impressive-sounding label on your symptoms." Often, this instructor said, the real cause is trigger points. She mentioned that in a fibromyalgia test, they test a set number of benchmark areas to see which ones are painful and if over a certain number of them are, poof: you have fibromyalgia. Never mind that this person may have been in a car wreck or be on some drug that screws with the neurological/musculoskeletal system(s) and that the patient might be in pain from THAT and it MAY have nothing to do with actual fibromyalgia, which, I believe, STILL hasn't been nailed down to any particular cause yet. It's what most other conditions are in the medical world: forget the cause, create a list of symptoms that we can drug and bill for (at least that's true for some).

Anyway, good luck with your client, and hopefully someday she will "see the light" :)

Peace,
~Jyoti
 


I'm so discouraged, I almost want to stop seeing her as a client. :( I hate not being to help people, but I know I can't help everybody. I kinda want her to have fibromyalgia, just so I can say "I told you so", so she could say "Yes, you were right" and sue her doctor. :twisted:
 
The confused client and her hard-headed doctor

BluHairedFaerie said:
the client's own daughter, who is half her age, was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year!!!
Maybe suggest she sees her daughter's doctor? If the daughter is seeing the same doctor, not sure what you could suggest.


I'm thinking cold stones (with hot stones to keep the body warm). The alternating temps will do great things. She probably won't like the temp, the no pain no gain attitude might be good here :)

Aromatherapy http://www.holistic-online.com/remedies/cfs/fib_aromatherapy.htm Only use the junpier if there are no kidney isses and only use the rosemary if there are no blood pressure issues. If there are no liver issues, I'd include carrot seed oil. If her liver is not good, it will make her feel like she has a hangover the next morning, it can stimulate quite a liver detox. With her no pain no gain attitude, she might like feeling rotten the next day.
 


You know, she actually likes the heat therapies I give her, she says it works wonders for her arthritic knees. Maybe I should just run her a hot bath and charge her... :lol:
 


I brought the idea of seeking a second opinion up, but she's content with her doctor's diagnosis.

I hate not being to help people, but I know I can't help everybody. I kinda want her to have fibromyalgia, just so I can say "I told you so", so she could say "Yes, you were right" and sue her doctor.

My thoughts for what they are worth:

She's content. If she's content, then why push so hard? Let her know that you will do the best with what you have to work with, and it may be that she only gets temporary relief. Suggest a second opinion, if she asks, and then just work as normal. Don't promise anything to her except that if she is not getting relief from your methods, that may be the reason to move on or consider that already mentioned second opinion.

As for "suing". I am not a proponent of even thinking this way.

Just do your best, make the proper suggestions and work with what you have. I have a client right now who is going through the same sort of thing. She has seen other docs she's been referred to and doesn't like the dx of her primary - but continues to go back and do what the primary says. Then she comes to me and continues to be in pain. I can only suggest so much. In the end it is up to that individual if they want to seek other options.

Good luck. I am sure you are helping her in some way and once you are comfortable with doing what you can, without the expectation of "fixing" this lady, I figure you'll be at peace with working on her.

:)

PS:
Fibromyalgia is what she called a "wastebasket diagnosis". In other words, "we can't find what's wrong with you but we're going to slap an impressive-sounding label on your symptoms."
Agreed!
 


I would also suggest she see a different therapist. If she's dead set on the pain factor when it comes to the massage, and you're not comfortable doing it..then simply don't.

I have no problem telling a client that needs to find a different therapist to do so. If i can't give you what you want and need, then by all means, find someone else who can.



Are these spots you speak of painful? Is she overweight? Could they possibly just be isolated lumps of adipose tissue?
 


But the client isn't satisified with the massage unless she feels pain; in her mind, she has to feel pain in order to be relieved of her stresses.

I missed this comment.

Are you saying she needs to feel pain everywhere you touch... or she just likes very deep pressure... and wants to "feel it" in certain areas? For instance, could you go deep in her back and make her happy?

This was a good thread with a lot of input relating to "pain and massage" -
Should a massage hurt?
 


Texas-gal wrote:
Are you saying she needs to feel pain everywhere you touch... or she just likes very deep pressure... and wants to "feel it" in certain areas? For instance, could you go deep in her back and make her happy?

No...There is a marked difference between her interpretation of "good firm pressure" and "pain". She likes pressure so deep I'm sure it hurts her at times...She'll just mumble some expletive in her native language like it's all good. I've explained to her on several differemt occassions that good massage DOES NOT equal painful massage, but I may as well be driving a Hummer over her body and I'm sure she'd like it. :twisted:


Spacer wrote:
Are these spots you speak of painful? Is she overweight? Could they possibly just be isolated lumps of adipose tissue?

The spots are painful and hard to the touch, like someone put their hand under her skin...If it is fat, it's hard as H-E-double hockeysticks. She is overweight, but excersizes frequently and eats well. I know she doesn't drink enough water though. I sometimes wonder in the back of my head if she really does exercize and do the homework I ask her to do.

I'm really getting frustrated with this client. I think I'll just continue treating her like normal and try to find someone else, preferably a 300-pound man, to work and twirk her just right.

To IMI ppl: I made an appointment with Irene for her to see this client. I figure if she can't help her, NO ONE CAN! :p Plus we all know what a masochist Irene is... :wink:
 


RE: IMI people: Smart move there kid! I'll be curious to hear how it goes with her! IM me and let me know when! :wink:
 


The appointment is in two weeks. It would have been today, but she had to cancel. I actually got her on the phone last night with Irene to reschedule because she was giving me such a hard time...When Irene got on the phone, she recoiled like a scared kitty! :twisted: Maaaan, I can't *wait* for this appointment! It's going DOWN!!! :lol:
 


She's an elder Finnish lady who is proud of her craft (and with every right) who has been practicing since she was a poor farm girl of 1930's Finland...Who now has made quite a requtation for herself...Check out her webiste.

But man, I feel for her first-time visitors. I'm sure they leave feeling dazed and confused, but somehow happier... :lol: :p
 


I'm getting very confused with the obviously off board discussion comments....

Anyway, Irene sounds like a perfect fit for your client.
 


??? What's confusing? Your opinion would be appreciated too, melb!
 


melb said:
I'm getting very confused with the obviously off board discussion comments....

Anyway, Irene sounds like a perfect fit for your client.

Agreed.

The only thing I am a bit concerned about is that you seem to want "Irene" to "hurt" the client.
she recoiled like a scared kitty! Maaaan, I can't *wait* for this appointment! It's going DOWN!!!
I am not quite following... but I hope it all goes according to plan.
 
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    SATURDAY at SUNRISE SPA: MIA, MICHELLE & SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ MIA is a young Vietnamese beauty with the looks and the skills. MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered. SUMMER is a sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure,
  34. ForeverWarden:
    Saturday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Misaki & Tracy, Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Misaki is a young and beautiful real Japanese girl with natural 34DD Cups and a great body. She is open to bbbj, dfk and cfs
  35. NewOriental:
    SATURDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: HAPPY, LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets
  36. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Ivy ❤️ is new girl in our branch, shy and sweet but also very vocal and needy, she demands your happiness and satisfaction. Slim body, supple soft breasts with long nipples and a toned bum bum will have you intoxicated by Ivy’s good looks
  37. HolidaySpa:
    Saturday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Lucy & Maggie. Lucy is a beautiful and slim Asian lady with a happy disposition and great services. Maggie is a slim and very sexy Korean lady, very pretty and accommodating. Come and try, you will like.
  38. Sparkling Spa:
    YOUNG GIRLS SUMMER AND FOX WAITING TO BLOW YOU AWAY @ SPARKLING SPA: JAP SENSATION CHANEL AND SASSY JENNIFER READY TO KNOCK YOU OUT ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone 50 LOCKRIDGE AVE UNIT#8 NO SPA LIKE US ANYWHERE NEAR US
  39. bumika.vashi:
    (((आपको बिना नाटक या नखरे करने वाला सर्विस चाहे तोह याद करना. ))) If you want Service without Drama or Tantrums, Remember it. Will Try To Give You The Best Possible Sweating Experience With Full Company. TAKE MY WORD.?? Don't Waste Your Time And Money In Some Other Place Where You are Really Upset Loosing Out Both Money And Fun. Ok Try With Our Girls Once Then Your Visit Will Be Regular To Me.... _________________N O T E_________________ If u like my services Please Please Do not forget to
  40. Bellagio Wellness &Spa:
    💗💗💗 ℍ𝔸ℙℙ𝕐 𝕄𝔸𝕐 💗💗💗🌟🌟🌟 MAY 4th , SATURDAY 🌟🌟🌟 ☎️ (905) 707-6866 🕙🌟🌟🌟Open 10:30-10:00🗺#33-160 East Beaver Creek 🗺 7 Rms 🛏🌟🌟🌟Table Shower(TS)+Massage 2hr $120*,TS & massage 1hr $90, 🌟🌟🌟$40/50/60 for 30/45/60min 🌟🌟🌟Attendants: We have 4️⃣ today 🍀🍀🍀 🌹🆕 DAISY 🌹LILIAN 🌹🆕 TINA 🌹 🆕 NAT 🍀🍀🍀 NEWSFLASH 🍀🍀🍀 🆕 TINA & 🆕 NAT & 🆕 DAISY & LILIAN ‘ s BACK 🍀🍀🍀 TODAY 🍀🍀🍀
  41. Montreal 1969:
    Elise seduction
  42. Lulu1980:
    Hi guys 🤪🤪🤪Phoenix blossom Spa 🌹🌹🌹Mia sexy body big boobs 😘😘😘very good body slide 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹and Cici very good table shower😘😘😘😘😘 ,Helen Deep Tissue Massage👍👍👍👍5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke ☎️ 416-817-3366
  43. Aufan Spa:
    ❤️ SOFIE, ANGELA and MIMI are here today for your massage needs ❤️ AUFAN SPA ❤️ 635 PHARMACY ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1L 3H3 ❤️ (647) 557-1407❤️
  44. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇, Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Slim Petite Chinese Suki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young CBC Rachel
  45. hiyamickey:
    7 young petite sexy girls working @Reynaella wellness Address: 3555 14th Ave unit #7 Markham ☎️:905-470-8082
  46. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, We have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young sweet cute Summer and young pretty fun Sally, young cute open mind Tina and beautiful GFE Lina are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available,350 Wilson Ave North
  47. Moon&beauty:
    MoonMoon/416 887 8801/8131Yonge st # 203 /new Asian girl Yuki &Persian girl Jasmine today
  48. SunriseRH:
    FRIDAY at SUNRISE SPA: HAPPY & MICHELLE. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean attendant with great massage and other skills. MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered.
  49. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯💯💯 - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Anna😘- A stunning sexy girl from Hong Kong
  50. NewOriental:
    FRIDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets and very open minded.
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