Losing your erection during sex.

[Truth Hurts]

I am in my early 30s and been with my girlfriend for 3 years. Lately I've been losing my erection during sex. Went to the Men's clinic on Yonge/Eglinton for tests. Showed that there is blood flow running through therefore Viagara is not needed.

Through conversations with friends made me realize that I am no longer physically attracted to her why the limp problem. She gained 30lb over the 3 years together. Did not think it bothered me but subconsciouly it did. I love her but not sure what to do.

Yesterday I appoached her and started talking how maybe we should both go back to the gym and eat better food. She said to me "You think I am fat" and started crying. I said no (lied).

What next?

 

[brandkast]

Next time tell her that you feel out of shape and you want to start working out again but you would feel better if she was there with you.

Maybe it's not to late if you reword in a way which she doesn't think is evaluating her.

This is a tightrope we walk with their emotions for sure.

 

[.....]

Thanks Maurice. I tried that this morning trying to be more tactful and she said I am only saying that because I think she is fat. Think I am in a no win situation.

 

[eldridan]

Ah, the old dilemma. Tell the truth or bS your way around the subject?

If I couldn't be upfront and honest with a woman then I wouldn't be with her.

Now don't go out of your way to call be tubby fat ass or anything, but say: I notice I've put on weight too and think it'd be good for both of us to get a little more exercise.

BTW: she knows she has put on weight, what women wouldn't?

Also, depending on how big of an issue it is, even though you're young and supposedly healthy, nothing wrong with taking an ED drug. BTW: loss of erection isn't only attributed to blood flow to your wiener. There's all kinds of reasons.

Seemore Butts said it best: if you're thinking during sex, you only have so much blood and it will be directed to your brain, not your dick.

I have a question: how long does it stay hard for? Remember: men are physiologically designed to get in, get off, get out. Usually 5 minutes I think is the norm.

 

[Zortrox]

After 3-four minutes it starts to get limp. She would do a bj or hand job for a few minutes to make it hard again. Sometimes I enter her when it is soft then it gets hard but two minutes later limp again.

 

[comander bioch]

Maybe it's more than physical? Maybe you just don't want to be there anymore?

I'd try the ED drugs, they'll fix you right up. That is, if you care about her and still want to be with her......

btw: the clinic should have checked your testosterone levels as well, not just blood flow to your dick.......

 

[jakemonster4]

Okay dude bosco is going to fess up to using ED drugs to avoid this with more than a few women in his brief attempt to become a master swordsman.

An ex of mine although truly a beautiful person (you can see where this going) on the inside wasn't really my type in the least.

And try as did to try and conjure up a more appealing image in my head while in the throws of bliss with her I just couldn't live up to her porn star expectations.

Enter Viagara and abracadabra problem solved. Of course nary a word of this ''solution'' was mentioned to her. My next problem of course was that I had trouble finishing so to speak so I had to wear a condom and fake it,lol.

Which I found amusing since usually the tables are turned when it comes to that.

We are now long split up but she often raves at my sexual prowess, If she only knew,lol.

 

[trooper92]

Well Maurice as they say sometimes ignorance is bliss, you made her feel good and didnt hurt your reputation a bit, so you have a little secret so do tons of men.

I think Tboy has a good suggestion, have your T tested. might be something else going on, or maybe your just tired of the situation. Guilt at some level over Hobbying maybe? Worry cause it happened before...too much thinking can sure be a buzz kil.

 

[jazzmaster]

They did all types of tests not just blood flow.

 

[Desereh]

Funny story. But doesn't Viagara only works if you are attracted to that person?.

 

[AnteSavant]

So I've heard but with me at that time I could have boinked Roanne Barr seven ways from Sunday, no problem.

 

[douglowesplace]

Testosterone levels i agree should be the first thing checked.

I told my doc that I wanted my levels checked and he just gave me a blank stare.

Then I confused him even more by telling that I wasn't interested in the Total and free testosterone test that OHIP covers but wanted the bioavailble testosterone test done (which is of course the most accurate and OHIP doesn't cover).

Finally he acquiesced and I got my tests done.

 

[ladedamom]

Do you two talk to each other during sex? It seems you are depending on her physical attributes attracting you a lot because there isn't much of anything else connecting you two together. I'm not a guy so don't know what most men must go through in their brains to get themselves turned on with women who don't try to turn them on. Maybe you need to start encouraging her to communicate with you and do the same yourself so that there are other images in your head to trigger arousal.
As for the weight issue, she has probably already started blowing your response out of proportion in her head. Tell her the truth as simply and sweetly as you can. Maybe include something like "I'd rather come to you now when it is a tiny issue rather than it fester into something huge that we both resent each other for. It would help me if we lost a few pounds together."

 

[Icegoat]

Oh my God that is funny. She is a monster.

 

[Naz F]

Thank you Amy. Here goes the truth I will get back tou you all later today or tomorrow. She is on her way home.

Thanks to all that replied. By the way I found this site from the Now magazine on line. in case the owner needs to know.

 

[amanda and star]

Hey ice if the truth doesnt work..and I have had such great success with it so far:shock:
..I have a spare bedroom you can use til your out of the doghouse:minimal rent)

no really im joking hope it goes well... break a leg

 

[Kkbetch]

Just NOT the middle one! :tongue:

 

[Gamer]

No, ED drugs work by controlling the backflow of blood out of the penis. There are little valves, or restrictors of some sort that allow blood into the penis, but restricts the flow back out. This occurs naturally in most men but some require a little extra checmical help.

As you said, she gets you hard with a hand job or BJ and the ED drugs help keep you hard.

Something no one asked: are you using condoms? Even as a spry young 22 yr old I would lose mine using condoms because, as a wise man once said: it's like taking a bath with your socks on.

 

[musicseawater]

As I've recently discovered... "dick drugs" also help in reducing "recovery time" between SOG's...

Particularly useful while on a sex weekend, or with 3ways/ more-ways!

(Hmmmm, I guess this would be a form of performance enhancing drugs! :gasp

 

[Davie J.]

Ice are you also overweight?.