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http://calgary.backpage.com/BodyRubs/sexy-blonde-taylor-25/3031178
When Days Were Olde, and Knights Were Bold.....
Once upon a time, long ago....a few months ago in fact, a relatively young man, ("relative" being the arguable term here), decided to embark on a quest of great importance. This young man had a pet dragon, and over time, the dragon had grown impatient and quite rigid. There was a ritual that every man had to go through in order to appease the beast, and for those that did not do this quest regularly, the results were rather catastrophic, with the dragon turning blue and causing much anguish towards mankind, and sometimes, the frustration would boil over and negatively affect the entire village.
Only a fair maiden would be able to appease the dragon, and after much research through the various ancient tomes of massageplanet and tomes of backpage, our hero found the answer. The hero would have to embark on an epic quest to appease the dragon and save the village! The fair maiden chosen out of the many to perform this couragous and noble task would fall to a beautiful young woman by the name of Taylor. Using his Spell of Calling, an appointment was made, as the fair maiden put our young hero's mind at ease in her young, sensual voice. The allure of her voice was so strong, that the hero was on guard. Was she a witch, or perhaps, a siren? Was she chaotic good, or lawful evil? Being on the other side of the land, the trek to the castle of this young and beautiful maiden was ardous and lengthy, crossing concrete jungles and the great river of the deer foot. His iron horse swiftly darted in and out of harm's way, as his enemies sent wave after wave of his iron minions to cause the hero to miss his meeting and ensue that the dragon's fury would destroy the village. But the hero prevailed, and his trusty stead soon arrived at the gates of the castle where the beautiful lass was being held.
Our Hero arrived at the castle gates, and opened the crystal doors, to a staircase leading deep up into the mysterious dungeon. A Nubian princess greeted him, and took his armor. It is good to see a friendly face, she said, and after explaining the dire situation, she led the hero to the seat next to the glowing magic embers to await the fair maiden.
A few minutes later, the fair maiden made her entrance. That was when the hero's jaw hit the floor, like he was punched in the gut by a 300 pound Orc named Norm. The fair maiden was even more ravishing and beautiful than the painters in the Tomes of Backpage had painted her, being a splitting image of another fair maiden in tomes past, this one by the name of Anna Nova in the Tome of Freeones! She wore a tight, black dress that accentuated her ample bosoms. Was she a powerful sorceress, the hero asked himself? She is certainly dressed in the black of a black mage, though she was missing the pointy hat and the glowing eyes. She also seemed to be hiding some sizable magic melons in the top of her dress. And more importantly, would she be able to perform the important task of saving the village?
The hero was led to another dungeon where the ritual would be performed. Un-donning his inner armors, the hero mounted the ritual bed and a few minutes later, the fair maiden made her entrance and began the ritual. She, too, would have to lay aside her sorceress robes to ensue that it would be successful.
She was warm and supple, as the ritual oil was poured over her body and rubbed against the hero. He did not know what this oil was for. Perhaps protection from the evil majiks the dragon would cast on them? The hero and the maiden talked, and made a soul connection. Though she dressed like a sorceress, the maiden was in fact, actually a very sweet and unassuming village girl, with a good heart. Her body was not covered in magic runes like some of the other sorceresses which the hero had encountered, making this maiden absolutely unique among her kind.
The journey had been long and dangerous, and the sorceress rubbed away the cares and worries of the hero, with him almost succumbing to the world of dreams for a time. But the sorceress, knowing that the lives of the villagers were being threatened, quickly roused the hero from his sleep and asked for important information regarding the ceremony of the dragon. After all, as the hero dozed off, the dragon had grown enraged again, and stiffened harshly, ready to attack all who would oppose him! This was a dangerous situation, and both of them proceeded with reckless abandon! Grabbing her twin ample magical melons, the hero cast a spell of tongue lashing on them which lasted a few minutes, while the maiden massaged the angry dragon to calm it. But the dragon seemed to grow more rigid and enraged!
Then suddenly, Russian Attack!
What the fuck is an arcade game from the 80's doing in this story, the hero asked! There was no reply from the maiden, as she concentrated on the important task at hand. The hero, now befuddled and wondering if the sorceress had cast an insanity spell on him, could do nothing but lie down as she took control of the situation and juggled the now oiled magical melons on the head of the angry dragon. With one last flex of resistance, the angry dragon surrendered to the sorceress's will, and with several powerful spasms, belched out its sticky poison all over the glorious orbs. The hero cried out in a loud voice! It was the poison that was making the dragon angry! The poison must be sufficiently drained in order for the dragon to remain healthy and pleased! Of course! Why didn't anyone think of this before, the hero asked. With a confused look, a shrug, and a raise of an eyebrow, the beautiful sorceress said she honestly didn't know.
She had done it! With the hero's health failing, she had used her cunning and quick thinking to appease the dragon and save the entire village. She lead the hero to the healing waters so that his health could be replenished, and the hero watched and admired as the maiden also washed in the healing waters. With his health fully restored, the maiden once again took the hero by the hand and lead him out of the dungeon.
The quest was done, the village was saved, and all was right for another day. The hero bowed to the maiden, and got down on one knee. He kissed her gently on the hand and asked for her hand in marriage. After all, his village could use a powerful and intelligent sorceress like herself, disguised as a fair maiden, to do much good in his village. But a tear rolled down the eye of the maiden, as she explained that she could not accept his offer. There were many dangers out there in other villages, and she would be needed to calm and appease other more terrifying and angry dragons. If not, many innocents would be harmed, and the lands would know no peace.
The hero, brokenhearted, embraced the maiden one last time. The two young heroes climbed down the steps of the castle. She told the hero that the dragon would be appeased for a little while, but eventually, would grow irritable and angry once again. And once again, the hero would indeed have to make the trek across the concrete jungles and river of the deer foot to perform the ritual. She told him that when that day comes, her body would be ready to take on this task.
They parted ways, and the hero got ready to ride his iron stead off into the sunset.
THE END
....or is it?
Rotten Tomatoes user reviews say:
L: 10
A: 10
S: 10
Cue credits
Starring:
boatman2888.......The Hero
Taylor..................The Fair Maiden/The Sorceress
Mr. Biggs..............The Dragon
Soundtrack now available on iTunes and a store near you!
Copywrite 2011. boatman2888 Enterprises.
*
*
*
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
The hero violently knocked on the door of the castle, trying desperately to get the fair maiden's attention.
Please let me in, Taylor! I have forgotten to re-don my inner and outer armors!!!
When Days Were Olde, and Knights Were Bold.....
Once upon a time, long ago....a few months ago in fact, a relatively young man, ("relative" being the arguable term here), decided to embark on a quest of great importance. This young man had a pet dragon, and over time, the dragon had grown impatient and quite rigid. There was a ritual that every man had to go through in order to appease the beast, and for those that did not do this quest regularly, the results were rather catastrophic, with the dragon turning blue and causing much anguish towards mankind, and sometimes, the frustration would boil over and negatively affect the entire village.
Only a fair maiden would be able to appease the dragon, and after much research through the various ancient tomes of massageplanet and tomes of backpage, our hero found the answer. The hero would have to embark on an epic quest to appease the dragon and save the village! The fair maiden chosen out of the many to perform this couragous and noble task would fall to a beautiful young woman by the name of Taylor. Using his Spell of Calling, an appointment was made, as the fair maiden put our young hero's mind at ease in her young, sensual voice. The allure of her voice was so strong, that the hero was on guard. Was she a witch, or perhaps, a siren? Was she chaotic good, or lawful evil? Being on the other side of the land, the trek to the castle of this young and beautiful maiden was ardous and lengthy, crossing concrete jungles and the great river of the deer foot. His iron horse swiftly darted in and out of harm's way, as his enemies sent wave after wave of his iron minions to cause the hero to miss his meeting and ensue that the dragon's fury would destroy the village. But the hero prevailed, and his trusty stead soon arrived at the gates of the castle where the beautiful lass was being held.
Our Hero arrived at the castle gates, and opened the crystal doors, to a staircase leading deep up into the mysterious dungeon. A Nubian princess greeted him, and took his armor. It is good to see a friendly face, she said, and after explaining the dire situation, she led the hero to the seat next to the glowing magic embers to await the fair maiden.
A few minutes later, the fair maiden made her entrance. That was when the hero's jaw hit the floor, like he was punched in the gut by a 300 pound Orc named Norm. The fair maiden was even more ravishing and beautiful than the painters in the Tomes of Backpage had painted her, being a splitting image of another fair maiden in tomes past, this one by the name of Anna Nova in the Tome of Freeones! She wore a tight, black dress that accentuated her ample bosoms. Was she a powerful sorceress, the hero asked himself? She is certainly dressed in the black of a black mage, though she was missing the pointy hat and the glowing eyes. She also seemed to be hiding some sizable magic melons in the top of her dress. And more importantly, would she be able to perform the important task of saving the village?
The hero was led to another dungeon where the ritual would be performed. Un-donning his inner armors, the hero mounted the ritual bed and a few minutes later, the fair maiden made her entrance and began the ritual. She, too, would have to lay aside her sorceress robes to ensue that it would be successful.
She was warm and supple, as the ritual oil was poured over her body and rubbed against the hero. He did not know what this oil was for. Perhaps protection from the evil majiks the dragon would cast on them? The hero and the maiden talked, and made a soul connection. Though she dressed like a sorceress, the maiden was in fact, actually a very sweet and unassuming village girl, with a good heart. Her body was not covered in magic runes like some of the other sorceresses which the hero had encountered, making this maiden absolutely unique among her kind.
The journey had been long and dangerous, and the sorceress rubbed away the cares and worries of the hero, with him almost succumbing to the world of dreams for a time. But the sorceress, knowing that the lives of the villagers were being threatened, quickly roused the hero from his sleep and asked for important information regarding the ceremony of the dragon. After all, as the hero dozed off, the dragon had grown enraged again, and stiffened harshly, ready to attack all who would oppose him! This was a dangerous situation, and both of them proceeded with reckless abandon! Grabbing her twin ample magical melons, the hero cast a spell of tongue lashing on them which lasted a few minutes, while the maiden massaged the angry dragon to calm it. But the dragon seemed to grow more rigid and enraged!
Then suddenly, Russian Attack!
What the fuck is an arcade game from the 80's doing in this story, the hero asked! There was no reply from the maiden, as she concentrated on the important task at hand. The hero, now befuddled and wondering if the sorceress had cast an insanity spell on him, could do nothing but lie down as she took control of the situation and juggled the now oiled magical melons on the head of the angry dragon. With one last flex of resistance, the angry dragon surrendered to the sorceress's will, and with several powerful spasms, belched out its sticky poison all over the glorious orbs. The hero cried out in a loud voice! It was the poison that was making the dragon angry! The poison must be sufficiently drained in order for the dragon to remain healthy and pleased! Of course! Why didn't anyone think of this before, the hero asked. With a confused look, a shrug, and a raise of an eyebrow, the beautiful sorceress said she honestly didn't know.
She had done it! With the hero's health failing, she had used her cunning and quick thinking to appease the dragon and save the entire village. She lead the hero to the healing waters so that his health could be replenished, and the hero watched and admired as the maiden also washed in the healing waters. With his health fully restored, the maiden once again took the hero by the hand and lead him out of the dungeon.
The quest was done, the village was saved, and all was right for another day. The hero bowed to the maiden, and got down on one knee. He kissed her gently on the hand and asked for her hand in marriage. After all, his village could use a powerful and intelligent sorceress like herself, disguised as a fair maiden, to do much good in his village. But a tear rolled down the eye of the maiden, as she explained that she could not accept his offer. There were many dangers out there in other villages, and she would be needed to calm and appease other more terrifying and angry dragons. If not, many innocents would be harmed, and the lands would know no peace.
The hero, brokenhearted, embraced the maiden one last time. The two young heroes climbed down the steps of the castle. She told the hero that the dragon would be appeased for a little while, but eventually, would grow irritable and angry once again. And once again, the hero would indeed have to make the trek across the concrete jungles and river of the deer foot to perform the ritual. She told him that when that day comes, her body would be ready to take on this task.
They parted ways, and the hero got ready to ride his iron stead off into the sunset.
THE END
....or is it?
Rotten Tomatoes user reviews say:
L: 10
A: 10
S: 10
Cue credits
Starring:
boatman2888.......The Hero
Taylor..................The Fair Maiden/The Sorceress
Mr. Biggs..............The Dragon
Soundtrack now available on iTunes and a store near you!
Copywrite 2011. boatman2888 Enterprises.
*
*
*
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
The hero violently knocked on the door of the castle, trying desperately to get the fair maiden's attention.
Please let me in, Taylor! I have forgotten to re-don my inner and outer armors!!!
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