Does this happen to anyone else?

[KellahPanda]

They don't get sensual massage from your ad. A lot of them just *assume* that that's what you do because it says massage. Below is a site that a friend of a friend who is an MT in California and it's all about her being a massage therapist and the stuff that happens. What you described seems to be normal over there, unfortunately. http://www.boogieon.com/stories/

 

[BeYoNd It ALL...{{2.2.0}}]

So what s.......... and do you in the n........     j/k   LOLI was on AOL and had a nearly empty profile and always got messages from guys wanting to know all kinds of sexual things.  Mostly late at night but not always.  Nothing you can really do, desperate people will always troll and see what happens.  Problem with the anonymity of the internet.  If they knew you could find out who they were for real they would stay in their hideout.  Find the address to the local police station and send them there to meet you for their nude massage.  Now that would be too funny.

 

[Mace [Is The Stig]]

Does this happen to anyone else?

Have you heard this one...I've been told that massage print advertisements that run in the Washington (DC) City Paper and use the term "non-sexual" are really using it as an underground code to mean "sexual".

 

[GrimLykReaper]

This week I have been contacted on my messenger by 6 guys already wanting a therapeutic massage with a sexual ending. So they were put on ignore quickly. I love what I do just hate the weirdos that come with it.

I am not for sure, but having your services listed on "messenger" (though I don't know how you do that), could be what is opening yourself up for that kind of questioning in the first place. آ Many people troll the internet for that sort of thing, and it could be that  "messenger" breeds comments and questions from that sort of human element. آ A possibility, is to consider how your company is named and presents itself. آ Maybe you just need to change or tweak a few things in order to avoid more than necessary amounts of mis-understanding of the services you render.If you have a web-site, feel free to mail it to me on this forum and I'll try give you any constructive thoughts that may help.Just a thought.

 

[Mariska]

Like I said, I'd be more than happy to look at your website as an outside individual and maybe can give some suggestions since you seem to get so many people asking for "other things".  Maybe you should not allow people to "message" you and just have the link to your website only.  Do you think that would help?   After all, they can call your number if they are interested in bodywork.  Or even better, don't list your website on yahoo.   ???I have never seen the yahoo forum to know how it looks, but it sounds like the other people who are using it are actually using it for other purposes, than you are interested in.  Though you obviously want to generate business, you may not want to do it at the risk of loosing your sanity.   Good luck!

 

[Philip McCrevice]

I just read somewhere that San Fransisco has passed an ordinance where you have a permit as either a "therapeutic massage practitioner" or a "adult entertainment massage worker".  Sort of unrelated but how awful is that?

 

[[804]kennyy]

LOL!  Funny way to put it! ;D

 

[Harlos]

OMG!  so there are three new places that have opened down the steet from the small spa that i work at all with in a mile. I belave most MT's can "tell" if a place isnt legit from the outside. but what happens is that their clientelle wander down the street hitting up every place getting the same business until they hit my work (lucky us) but most of the time the intake form scares them away if not them noticing we also have female clientelle.

 

[Pompal 09.]

extra! extra!

When they ask if I offer extras, I say "Yes"...... then start telling them about the different aromatherapy blends I use and that I'll add aromatherapy to their session at no additional charge... blah blah blah... that it's just an "extra" I do for my clients.  If haven't already hung up on me, I also mention the "extra" biofreeze treatment and the reasons that I would use that for them. Basically, I don't even want to validate their request by acknowledging or responding to it directly.  I think some of those guys get some cheap thrill out of playing "let's see if we can corrupt the nice innocent massage therapist" or just plain trying to ruffle our feathers to see how we'll respond.I figure, I've got better things to do than play their games - I want to keep my attitude positive for calls from the real clients.

 

[PS3kid]

I love the reply of using aromatherapy because I think that would send most guys looking for sexual stuff fleeing.  

 

[Pompal 09.]

???My question is....Who doesn't this happen to?  I'm a male massage therapist and get asked about "extras" all the time.  I've gotten really good at screening calls over the years and can hear it in their voices before they ask.  Since I only take clients by appointment it's not really a problem anymore.  Of course every now and then when they ask what I look like and are clearly after more than massage I reply...."I'm 4'6", weigh 350lbs, and have some psoriasis and a couple of boils, but otherwise look pretty good"......the only thing I hear after that is "click"  

 

[ed031639]

I am a Holistic Health Practitioner. I offer many services besides Massage. On one site Ihave up, I focus on my Doula (labor/delivery/postpartum Aide) Services.  I talk about my background in Child Development, how I served as a Nanny, a Preschool Teacher, how I specialize in Pregnancy and Postpartum Massage and so on...and STILL I get IM's from guys asking about "extras" and "sensual massage". #*^$&@&!!!Why? Would approach Mary Poppins expecting to get "extras"? I know a lot of them like to get the reaction, so I am always professional in my answers.  When I am asked if I offer "sensual" massage, I say: "Every Massage is "sensual" meaning, "of the senses". Your senses will be stimulated during  my  Massages by beautiful scenery in the treatment room, music, aromatherapy, appropriate therapeutic touch and by the water or tea you enjoy before and after your treatment. I'd say that is VERY sensual..."

 

[Lil P:)]

Hmm, Would a guy ask that of Mary Poppins......Uh, well....uh....let me get back to you on that.  Ladies, you really shouldn't be surprised by what men do.  Men in this country are very often raised in environments without close physical contact that is non-sexual (after they are no longer toddlers).  For many men close physical contact IS (in their minds) sexual in nature.  This of course does NOT excuse the behavior but it does mean that there is some education to be done.Ben

 

[Kinomaru]

It is PERFECTLY appropriate for us ("ladies") to be surprised, disgusted, dismayed, revolted by "what men do" when it is this behavior.  Yes, there is a lot of education to be done, and we MTs are aware of that portion of our responsibility to the public, but when a potential client behaves and speaks inappropriately, we therapists are NOT to be corrected about our reactions to these behaviors.  To be instructed how to feel, in such a condescending way, and supposedly by another therapist, is unacceptable.  That kind of advice is two steps away from advising us to just "take it."

 

[MUFFINATOR.]

Certainly not my intention to have anyone "just take it".  Maybe I wasn't clear that I find the behavior unacceptable and fully understand terminating a session when this behavior occurs, or hanging up on a caller asking for "extras".  So let me be clear.  It's unacceptable.Since it IS UNACCEPTABLE it is up to us in the profession to make sure that people know it is unacceptable.  We have to do this because of what society has provided to us.  Men with deplorable behavior who, strange as this sounds, have been "educated" to believe that physical touch by the opposite (sometimes same) sex is sexual.  As massage therapists we are in a position that is pretty unique regarding touch.  Even a beginning massage therapist understands more about the effects of touch than 90% or more of the population.What can we do about it?  Well, as a Massage Therapy Instructor I have been faced with that question several hundred times by students (and their spouses/SO's).  I've had to dismiss students that couldn't or wouldn't "get it" regarding sexual issues.  The best answer I can come up with is more education.  Sometimes the education comes from a massage therapist that terminates a session due to a client talking dirty or trying to grab them.  Sometimes it's the professional demeanor, and professional office.  But I think is has to go farther.  We must not be silent.  We must let people know that we are professionals and what we can do for people.  Write articles in local publications, be interviewed on those early Sunday morning radio health shows.  Be seen in public volunteering our services.  Most importantly we must police our profession.  When we find someone who is licensed that is providing "extras" we must do something about it.  Here in Texas it is actually a requirement that any RMT report such behavior to the State Board and I wholeheartedly agree with that.  The fewer people that get away with abusing the system the fewer people will ask us for something we're not there to provide.Again, if I left you with the idea that it was acceptable because of how men are sometimes raised in this country, I apologize.  I don't condone the behavior and I do my part to get rid of it.Ben

 

[Ashley]

Ben, well said. It's the law we must report it here in Wisconsin too."Sometimes the education comes from a massage therapist that terminates a session due to a client talking dirty or trying to grab them.  Sometimes it's the professional demeanor, and professional office." - SATMassageThis is good... I think some role playing might really come in handy here.  As MT we tend to be "friendly sorts" of people. But, it might be helpful for students to know what kind of questions, comments and things are starting to cross the line and should put up a Red Flag alerting us to possible trouble with this client ahead.  Many would say the signs should be there at the initial call, but what if that call is taken by a receptionist who  does not notice them?  Suddenly you are stuck in a treatment room with some wierd guy who wants to know, "Are you married? Do you have children?  Do you enjoy massaging men or women more?"   It's good to teach new students to trust their intuition, because once they are out in the great big world outside of massage school... it's their job to keep themselves safe while doing their work.Rarely will a boss or teacher be around to handle these things when they come up after you graduate!So deal with them now. "How to handle A Client's Inappropriate Behavior - 101"

 

[Greedy Pirate]

I have an announcement on my AOL profile that I'm a CMT and since then, (so far) I've only had serious inquiries, but when I was a student and had as much posted in my profile, I got "propositions" all the time...It was very annoying.  We learned in our ethics classes at ASM to just be patient and handle it professionally when people ask because too often, prostitution is advertised as "sensual massage by exotic girls" and it's given us legitimate CMT's almost like a stereotype that we have to correct constantly.  The only thing I can think of to stop it is in your ads or on your profile, specifically state something about your business being non-erotic or something like that.  Good luck!

 

[an anonymous female]

Does this happen to anyone else?

being a male therapist i hear about this alot. most guys will call and ask what kind of massages do you do. i will say its a combination of swedish deep tissue, sports, and hot stones, some will bluntly ask if its sensual. i say senusal yes sexual no. few problems here in atlanta are that some cmts do offer sensual massages. some countys in ga list massage therapy as adult entertainment. i pretty much make it clear to the client that my massages are theraputic only and that any groping or grabing on their behalf will terminate services..