dear technical support

[Destiny R]

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I
had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the
only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a
virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they
caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product
soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.

While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come
bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2004.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very
unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in
Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months
later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary,
Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and
Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess
what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab
93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which
can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be
problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if wife 1.0
detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before
uninstalling itself.

Please help.

 

[jteogupuisrizieah]

one for the lads I think..........but still worth a

 

[CanineTruth]

Yes one for the lads. But it has made me smile on this rainy grey day.

Sunrise

 

[Guercics]

Hi Sunray,

This is Technical Support.

All your current problems are caused by a platform/operating system conflict.

Unfortunately, you are still using an outmoded platform to run a superior operating system with limitless potential. Specifically your cpu is incapable of recognising that entities under the generic name of wife are not task-specific applications but open-ended operating systems.

Because of the limited buswidth of your platform, specifically your cpu, it is unable to recognise the operating system as such and is attempting to treat it as just another application. This is the main cause of your problems and the quickest and most effective remedy is to upgrade the platform asap. Short-term measures of the kind that you have contemplated might even appear to work for a limited period, but are likely to fail without warning and leave you in a worse predicament than you are in, at present.

Your new operating system is of a class that is capable of diagnosing the precise areas of your current platform that need upgrading. Just look for the program library under 'Expert systems' and use the self-diagnosis facility provided therein. The graded inquiry system includes information on most available platforms and cpu's.

Should the suggested platform not match your available resources please contact Technical Support again quoting the query number given in the title. Alternatively, you could seek suitable professional advice, although this should be done with support from your current o/s.

We would advise against using the 'Mistress' route, as that is a competing operating system and completely incompatible with the 'wife' class of o/s. When the two o/s's are found together on the same platform, severe local and collateral damage has been known to occur.

Best regards.

Technical Support.

 

[akehkuchiufiebeto]

what a cracker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so loving this but yes it is one for the lads i guess but funny , like the reply from sunraly 83b!!
love fairytrish xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ta-dah!!]

Liked it, very funny!! Need a good laugh to set me up on a grey cold day.

 

[LikePormenihe]

Its getting better and better, Prashna, so funny. Yet another smile on my face.

Thankyou
Sunrise