Dealing with rude therapists

[Tyrone Biggums]

I've recently discovered going into my second year as a bodyworker (reflexology), that there are many rude practitioners in this industry of complementary and alternative healthcare. Does anyone have advice about how to deal with a rude therapist that you still have to make contact with from time to time? (i.e. someone practicing in your town or your association). I don't want to describe the cases I am dealing with on the chance that it will come back to bite me, but suffice it to say that I have never dealt with more rude people in my entire life than those I have had a good networking relationship with! Of course the good relationship has now ended and I struggle with running into these people in person or via email. How do you deal?Thanks for your help!

 

[BOMSR]

Dealing with rude therapists

I've noticed that rude people in "any" industry tend to be the competitive and insecure. The only way to respond to them is in a pleasant businesslike manner. Don't take it personally. Also, when you network, try to network with people who are not in competition with you.-Melody

 

[funkififer]

KIP = Keep it Professional!!! Above all else...what goes around, comes around so I think their lack of professionalism will hurt them down the road. Lastly, don't let it get to you; it's their problem, not yours. As long as you know you are kind/caring/personable then that's all you need to worry about. HOWEVER, if they are pursuing you (either via phone/email/in person) and are insisting on addressing you in a rude manner, you can simply let them know that you will not tolerate disrespect by anyone (client or colleague) and you would be more than happy to converse with them in a professional manner when they are ready to do so....smiling while saying all this, of course.  ;DBe well,Jen

 

[Nikki Tesla]

I am glad you brought this subject up.  I dont know if it is just me, but I dont expect to find rude, unprofessional people in our field.  Our ability to be professional, compassionate,personable, and knowledgable is our key to success.  I am constantly amazed by MT's that dont return phone calls, dont show up for appts, talk during the massage, neglect to do intake, provide water, or follow up.  When I call to schedule an appt, I expect a call back in a timely manner ie within normal business hours.  I have waited days and at one point weeks for a call back.  I should be treated like any other paying customer.  That is the saving grace.  If they are acting in an unprofessional manner towards me, I can only imagine how they are treating the rest of the paying public.  The fact that they may be envious, jealous,or competitive is a sad excuse for poor behavior.  I just cant recommend someone of that nature.  I tend not to contact them after I am burned twice.

 

[Marilee C]

Dealing with rude therapists

wow...I don't always provide water and sometimes I chat with the client about this or that or ask them questions regarding massage therapy and them (especially if they are first-time clients)...and I don't always do a follow-up with the client..BUT I don't consider myself rude or non-personable in any way with my clients.Be well,Jen

 

[Apocalypse Cow]

more dittos...talking during the massage is the clients perogative (sp?)... its their time, if they want to chat, ...telling them (or expecting them) to "lie there and be quiet"  seems in fact to be somewhat rude.

 

[Polgeria]

Unfortunately, you are not going to change these people.  I would just try to avoid having anything to do with them if possible.  If you absolutely need to, then try to keep it professional.  If you are both members of some professional organization in your town, like Rotary or something on a small scale, try to distance yourself as much as possible, so the other members of the organization recognize that you are NOT partners or in any way representative of one another and so that these people will hopefully not decide that all massage therapists are rude.  I'm thinking that "handson" didn't mean that therapists who do any talking at all during a session are rude.  I would hope they were referring to therapists who do not take their cues from the client and who talk non-stop throughout the session.

 

[Frankie]

Dealing with rude therapists

wow...I don't always provide water and sometimes I chat with the client about this or that or ask them questions regarding massage therapy and them (especially if they are first-time clients)...and I don't always do a follow-up with the client..BUT I don't consider myself rude or non-personable in any way with my clients.

Same here. I really don't consider talking with a client if they initiate conversation to be rude or unprofessional. I find it to be the opposite. If someone were to tell me not to talk while I was getting a massage, I'd consider them rude and probably not go back to that therapist. Some people like to talk. *shrug*

But as for people in alternative health being rude or unprofessional, that's in any industry. It's just people that probably don't like the business side of things and don't know how to handle the business side. They're probably also the ones that give us the statistics of staying in the business only 2 years before leaving the industry. As long as you're being polite and professional, it will make you stand out.

 

[gymnast2014]

Dealing with rude therapists

wow...I don't always provide water and sometimes I chat with the client about this or that or ask them questions regarding massage therapy and them (especially if they are first-time clients)...and I don't always do a follow-up with the client..BUT I don't consider myself rude or non-personable in any way with my clients.

Be well,
Jen

I guess I did not make myself clear.  I was responding to the initial post.  In the first post you will note that Dragonflies mentions her encounters with rude practitioners in our field of work.  My response has nothing to do with how you treat your clients.  I, too chat with my clients if they want to talk during the massage.  I do, however, keep it to a minimum and I do not initiate it unless I am inquiring about their comfort.  My intial intake is the time I take to talk with them about their concerns or their day.  

The poster and myself are more concerned with the unprofessionalism we are dealing with when we have an encounter with another MT.  I expect to be treated as a professional or a client by any person I am doing business with.  It's just so sad to have someone in the business treat others so poorly.

 

[mkbrocato]

Dealing with rude therapists

Same here. I really don't consider talking with a client if they initiate conversation to be rude or unprofessional. I find it to be the opposite. If someone were to tell me not to talk while I was getting a massage, I'd consider them rude and probably not go back to that therapist. Some people like to talk. *shrug*

Again, please note, that I am not saying you should not talk to your client.  I am responding to the intitial post which has nothing to do with how you treat your client and everything to do with how you treat another MT.  I dont know why, but if you are a massage therapist and you make an appt for a massage, it's as if you have given the therapist license to talk shop. That's different than asking, "Are you warm enough?".

Now, please dont get me wrong.  I am not saying that all MT's carry on this way but, sadly, I have encountered a few.

I think we all benefit from these observations and experiences.  As I said before, I am going to be very careful about who I refer to.   :-/

 

[gillianprowe]

Dealing with rude therapists

more dittos... talking during the massage is the clients perogative (sp?)... its their time, if they want to chat, ... telling them (or expecting them) to "lie there and be quiet"  seems in fact to be somewhat rude.

This is a response that begs to be ignored but you really need to read the initial post before you respond.  

 

[Pompal 09.]

Dealing with rude therapists

Again, please note, that I am not saying you should not talk to your client.  I am responding to the intitial post which has nothing to do with how you treat your client and everything to do with how you treat another MT.  I dont know why, but if you are a massage therapist and you make an appt for a massage, it's as if you have given the therapist license to talk shop. That's different than asking, "Are you warm enough?".

I think this one was the best explanation, I understand what you mean now. I'm assuming that the things you mentioned were all directed at one MT doing them to another MT on their table. I'm not sure if that is the situation Dragonflies is talking about, but now I see that's what you're talking about. Sorry.

 

[stacy]

Does anyone have advice about how to deal with a rude therapist that you still have to make contact with from time to time? (i.e. someone practicing in your town or your association).

I would take the high road and just be polite. Say hello if they say hello.  If they start a conversation, just keep it short.  I am sure we can all come up with reasons that "I've got to run".You will maintain your professional image buy not stooping to their level by being rude back to them.  It should make you feel like the better person.Even though I am sure that ignoring them would just be easier.  

 

[Annamazing.!]

Dealing with rude therapists

I think this one was the best explanation, I understand what you mean now. I'm assuming that the things you mentioned were all directed at one MT doing them to another MT on their table. I'm not sure if that is the situation Dragonflies is talking about, but now I see that's what you're talking about. Sorry.

I was referring to those practitioners (not all MT's I might add), whom I have to deal with on a day-to-day (or at least weekly) basis but not in the context of sharing sessions.

 

[Fallon123]

From your original post, it seemed as if you did not work directly with these people, but might run into them from time to time at a professional organization meeting or something.  But, your last post it seems as if you are running into them almost daily.  Do you work with them? If not, then what setting are you dealing with them so regularly?  I have my own office and the only MT's I deal with daily or weekly are fellow posters on a message board.  

 

[erika dion]

Dealing with rude therapists

From your original post, it seemed as if you did not work directly with these people, but might run into them from time to time at a professional organization meeting or something.  But, your last post it seems as if you are running into them almost daily.  Do you work with them? If not, then what setting are you dealing with them so regularly?  

I have my own office and the only MT's I deal with daily or weekly are fellow posters on a message board.  

Good point KneadedMassage - I guess I am referring to both types I run into: some that operate out of the building I practice in, others that are in an association where I would see/deal with at meetings and such. I didn't mean to confuse the point, I should have been a little clearer in my first post. But all in all I run into at least two-three rude practitioners (of complementary/alternative healthcare - not always in the field of bodywork), a month, sometimes much more (multiple weekly encounters). I have checked with another CAM practitioner I trust to make sure I am not going nuts and imagining things.  :

 

[[//anti * twilight//]]

Dragonflies, Your post seems to suggest that you are encountering professionals in the alternative health care field whose behavior is less than professional.  You have also stated that you have discussed your observations with a trusted peer as a way to seek corroboration ie "make sure your not going nuts".My point in sharing my experience was just that, corroboration.  This is a problem and it does exist.  In your building, in my town, it is evident.  You are not going nuts.We share a similiar business.  We work with the public on a very intimate level.  The public/clients  can be draining and/or energizing at times. Life, in general is less than perfect.  As a bodyworker, I understand that I cannot always be "up" for others.  Maybe, those 2 or  3 that you encountered were just having a bad day.  As mentioned before, try not to take it personally.  I guess,if their rudeness is directed toward you, specifically, you could ask them if there is something bothering them.  Gently nudge their negativity back into their lap.  Let them deal with it if they are willing and you are concerned enough to hear them out.

 

[Whoo!]

Dealing with rude therapists

A valid point is brought up here. I could share some tales that would make your hair stand on end. There is of course, the same in every field. However, the surprise comes in with ours, because we are supposed to be trained, or at least have a reliable ability to put people at ease.What you see occasionally, is a real lack of people skills, which can take a while to polish, but can put a fast end to a career if neglected. You can put on a front for a client, but the holes in that become evident over a period of time. Massage is more than fancy moves. Taking people out of discomfort means you are geared to do that on the personal level too

 

[White Delight is awesome!]

I have met a few MTs who are "know-it-alls" or sort of snobbish and the snobbiness annoys me.  The "know-it-all" attitude used to make me question my abilities (my FMS and CFS and bipolar sometimes impair my ability to remember exact muscle names, etc)  I am getting over the insecurities because while maybe I don't remember ALL the muscle names (of course I know the usuals) I do have some skills/talents that other MTs who just did the cookie-cutter education don't have.  Not to toot my own horn, but I have some training in Polarity, Trager, CST, extensive aromatherapy training, and I am a Reiki Master.  I don't get all into a "peeing" contest with know-it-all MTs, I just try to tell myself "love and patience, love and patience, love and patience".My point- try to be kind to the other CAM practitioners but keep your distance at the same time.  Also, there are those know-it-all jerks and you know their attitude is likely masking their own insecurities or that their attitude is all-around unpersonable and their career will be short-lived.Thanks for reading my tale.

 

[mzjilly]

Dealing with rude therapists

I have met a few MTs who are "know-it-alls" or sort of snobbish and the snobbiness annoys me.  The "know-it-all" attitude used to make me question my abilities (my FMS and CFS and bipolar sometimes impair my ability to remember exact muscle names, etc)  I am getting over the insecurities because while maybe I don't remember ALL the muscle names (of course I know the usuals) I do have some skills/talents that other MTs who just did the cookie-cutter education don't have.

I agree, I don't get along with the "know-it-alls" either. I run into them all the time. "Well, what do YOU do when such-and-such muscle is such-this-way?" I tell them, and many times I hear "Well, a BETTER way to do it, the way *I* do it, is this-way-here." I usually roll my eyes and go talk to the hairdressers they work with. I get along better with hair dressers than most MTs, lol.