10 WORST GIFTS TO BUY A WOMAN

[R4u]

1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a infomercial. The only wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.)

2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eyeing in Kmart.

3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys."

4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you." By then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas.

5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend.

6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.

7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We actually test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good time to buy her that set of diamond nipple clamps you always wanted to, you know how we like to show off our jewelry and it could get embarrassing at the New Year's party when she decides to show them off to your buddies.

8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing. Well, perhaps you might if you are a transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she'll smile and say its beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, "were the hell would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like wearing white after Labor Day.

9. Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct response to "do these pants make me look fat." If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month. (Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A better alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal trainer to get her motivated into getting fit.

10. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.

 

[BEAUTYTHANG7]

All the more reason to rent :love:

 

[agent4927]

Actually, I disagree with the flannel or cotton lingerie. I've had ex gf's who liked that more n satin and lace. I bought one a flannel nightshirt and she wore that almost every weekend around the house....with a big pair of wool work socks on she was cute as a button......

 

[HOPE FOR GOOD.]

+1

 

[Brandon Lee]

Have to agree with tboy and Rocky here... In fact, Victoria's Secret as an entire division dedicated to this very thing.

http://www.victoriassecret.com/pink/sleepwear

I think Vicky knows a thing or two about "sexy"... Besides, clothes don't make a woman sexy.

A sexy woman can make a burlap sac look sexy!

 

[cadisneygirl]

Actually, after much nagging, I have paid for some revised boobs!:intello:

 

[Haute Couture]

not a big enough boob for you?

 

[Suddenly Human]

Putting aside the fact that these kind of list typically assume men to be idiots (whether as a joke or not, the effect is the same), I strongly disagree with #1: I would LOVE to receive this as a gift.

View attachment 2315

 

[Pompal 09.]

Go ahead, rub it in.

 

[Crazy Baboon!]

Added to the list:

Never buy a woman a dildo or vibrator, as it could soon replace you.

(Unless of course the woman is your mother or sister and you are not hoping to have sex with her...... Are you?)

 

[marvlwoods]

Have to disagree with you there... I recently gave Mrs. CG a Lelo :great: to add to our collection of "toys".

Toys can be a wonderful addition to one's lovemaking sessions!!

:love:

Plus, she has some things to play with when the GF cums over! :gasp:

 

[Mehul]

Me- WHY do you carry on like this!? You have great tits!:he: Wait till you are at least 40!

Her- I WANT THEN NOW:frown:!! Will you take back some jewelry in exchange?

(Lap Bear caves):neutral:

 

[Howdy!!]

I think they're right in some respects: a LOT of men are clueless as to what their spouses want. The trick is to know your wife/gf whatever so you can pick out something she likes.

For example: Made it pretty plain to even a bonehead like me that she wanted a breadmaker for christmas one year. She talked about it for 6 months, left a catalogue open to the right page with the item circled (back when there was such a thing). I mean, if I didn't get it for her? My ass would have been grass! lol.

I'd like to think I have a pretty good eye when it comes to undies etc. I think I've made each cry when they opened the package. (no smartasses, NOT in pain lol).

Just on the lingerie subject, and Gen, this might give you a clue as to my feelings on players/women etc. A buddy of mine, the penultimate player extraordinaire, went to La Senza last Christmas, walked in, picked out a bra and panty set, in 34C, small, and got 4 sets, went to the cash and said wrap em. The girl said "won't she get bored with 4 sets the same? Why not pick out a couple of....." Not for the same woman.....

He bought 4 sets for 4 women he was seeing. (One seriously). I mean, this IS the type of guy that women go for. Hell, if I was seeing 4 I'd find something unique to each so they'd know I put some thought into it. But hey, women don't want a guy like THAT.....oh no.....

 

[mandiimo aka: amanda]

About 7 years ago I bought my wife a new set of pots and pans for Christmas.....................ya didn't go over very well, especially considering that I was home earlier from work than she was:

 

[a.e.b]

Canadian Tire money always works :happy:

 

[tweedle_d_clown]

can't the ''bytch'' take a joke? ? ::

 

[lasnochas nicolas]

Was this the Lelo for "femmes" or "hommes"?

http://en.lelo.com/index.php?collectionName=homme

 

[Smoked Ham]

There's a Hommes line? :shock:

It was a "Gigi"...

 

[sc4bbedwing]

LOL....I guess the joke was on me in the end.......................I cook the pasta in the house and the pots are the perfect size for that:grrrrrr:

 

[sun-ray]

my ex bought me a snow blower for Christmas one year ::