Mongerology by Uncle Sam

Discussion in 'India Massage Reviews' started by Unclesam, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Hi

    This is uncle Sam....The Wise Man

    What is Mumbai Mongering ?


    Mumbai the city which never sleeps
    City which makes u chase the dreams
    City which makes u cry in in its traffic jams
    City which makes u hang on the local train
    City which has cut throat competition
    City which has end less desires
    City which tall lighted skyscrapers
    And

    Equally dark and deep underworld

    As Badruddin Jamaluddin Kazi aka Johnny Walker Said in famous CID song

    Ae Dil Hai Mushkil Jeena Yaha
    Zara Hatke ,Zara bachke ..
    Ye hai Bombay meri Jaan

    Milta hai yaha sab kuch ..

    ek milta nahi hai DiL

    Life in Mumbai is life full of stress and every one wants some or the other way of relaxation

    As the hectic day ends ..people want to unwind.
    To find solace
    To chase peace of mind .

    As Vikram Seth as said in Maximim city
    Mumbai is like a big hot bedroom
    Every one finds some way or other to forget the stress and recharge the batteries

    Then some go spa
    Some go to navalkar lane
    Some go to congress house
    Some go to dance bars

    And the search begins to find hidden gems

    To look for hidden treasures

    To find contacts

    To hunt for new bar gals

    To fulfil dark desiers

    To satisfy the inner needs


    And thats what we call as

    MUMBAI MONGERING

    Welcome all to this thread

    Dedicated to mongering in mumbai

    Be it Dance bars
    Be it spas
    Be it famous dens like NL or congress house

    BE IT ANYTHING NEW AND EXCITING

    This is your guide to under belly of this never ending city

    We aim to give readers step by step insight into this big bad dark world of mongering in mumbai

    Right from panvel to churchgate to Borivali to thane and beyond

    You all can share the experiance
    Join the voyage

    Welcome to all

    Uncle Sam
     
  2. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Mongering Kit

    When we go for jogging..we go loaded with gears..new shoes ..new shorts or track suite..and sometimes new fitness band

    Isnt it ?


    (i hope some of u do go for jogging
    I know most of you feel bored..i also used to feel bored ..what to circle the same garden again and again ?..

    Then i did a trick..

    We have a big garden..and all people go in circles in cloack wise manner to it..

    I purposelfully go anti cloack wise so that .. i can see all the lovely ladies face to face while making rounds..this gives additional incentive for morning walks...for last few weeks ..i am eying one cute young one..lets see if i can burn some more caloris while chasing her..
    But try this..and u will find new enthusiasm to do morning walk ..

    Mongering while jogging ..?)

    So when want to monger ...u also need kit

    Isnt it ?


    1 - always get a separate mongering sim

    Mukesh bhai has done so much favor on us by issusing seven new sims on one aadhar card

    So it is easy to get new sim

    If possibel..try to get new sim with some one else aadhar card .

    How to do it ?
    Use
    Watchman or any employee or vendor working for u .
    Try it
    Instead of taking gifts from ur vendor on diwali ..ask him to give u new sim card

    Let me tell u..it is not difficult and if u put efforts.. u will find one person..who can get u new sim

    This is must ..

    Dont ever try to think that u r superman and no one can trace u..

    Even u r superman ...there is always a batman around..
    So GET new mongering sim..

    2..only getting new sim alone is not enough
    U have make a new profile or identify for your self .

    Today's is a virtual world .
    So virtual identity is more important

    Make a new profile on True caller and whats up

    Give urself a new name
    Every one has some fantasy..so use this opportunity to take a rebirth with new name and new occupation and adresss

    Make sure ..true caller is fed with that new name and occupation

    So that true caller willl make u famous .

    Choose name and occupation wisely

    Dont keep it remotely realted to your true name and occupation.

    3..upadte your phone

    It is better to have a phone with two sims rather than a separate mongering phone

    So many times ..wife will catch u if u have seperate mongering phone

    Remember..Mohamad Shami ..the indian cricketer ?

    So have phone with two sims ..

    (Has any one seen of phone with three sims ?
    Some Chinese models have it ..)

    Please put password to your phone
    And keep changing it

    U may tell wife password..they always ask for it..
    But change it later..so that wife can not open phone..
    And if she demands it again.
    Tell her there was virus and hence password was changed..

    4..do u a know app called as Second Space ? Or Parrallel space ?

    It is a very useful app

    U can have your whats up with second sim or facebook account with new name..hidden in this app and even if some one open your phone ..no one can see the whats up chat and face book chat or photos by second sim.

    This app it self has a second security lock ..so even if any one gets ..u r phone they can not open the Second space and hence can not see the whats up chats with new sim .

    It is easy to download from google app.

    5..Also if possible..become premium memeber of true caller..
    It is not costly..
    But it helps a lot
    U can see who is tracing ur number in true caller.
    Very useful
    U can get email of anyone on true caller
    And now a days..email leads to facebook and then to person..


    6..please download at least one spy cam in your mobile.
    No ..not for recoding girls..but to record .enemies if any while mongering..

    Understand..world is hypocritical..
    People have false sense of morality ..so always be ready for attack and counter attack.

    7..always carry small sanitiser with u..it is better to be hygenic than sorry.

    8..if possible..wear a small cap while mongering..especially in this season

    Reason?
    It helps u to esacpe from cctv at spa or dance bar entrance..

    It is difficult to see u face if u r wearing a cap.

    9.if u r dance bar fan..learn to collect cash in small denominations..
    Once u go to dance bar..if u ask for 10 or 20 notes to throw on dancer...then the bar owner cut atleast 30 percent of it .some times 40 percent

    So always keep stock of own cash in 10 or 20 notes

    How to do it

    Bank ..be sweet to cashier lady in bank
    .she will give u bundles of tens and twenty

    Petrol pump.

    Fill petrol from one pump every month and u will have enough reasons to exachage cash bundles from him


    Sometimes ..Toll plaza
    If u know some one from it..nothing like it
    They have bundles of ten and 20 most of the times

    10..lastly but not the least

    Common sense

    This is the most important ingredient from sucessful mongerimg

    Keep this APP with u always..

    It helps to evade most of the difficult situation in mongering

    So get all this gears..and be ready for mongering rides acroos mumbai
    With your guide

    Uncle Sam
     
  3. Morpheus_IN

    Morpheus_IN Reviewer

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    So Sam the entrepreneur inside you forced you start off a whole new thread Really liked your spirit


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  4. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Hi

    It is for pure writing pleasure
    In real life ..i write something else .very different..

    So just needed some place to write my thoughts

    To relax and to unwind

    May be some people will read it
    May be some one will like it
    May be some one will get relaxed reading it
    May be some will post there own write ups

    Thats the only purpose

    All and any one can write on it on mongering in mumbai in any form

    This city is billed as most difficult to survive

    Real life is very tough

    So it is just a small attempt from my side to make life better for all mumbaikars..

    Uncle Sam
     
    #4 Unclesam, Jan 11, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019
  5. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Now that every one ready with mongering kit

    Let us handle next obstacle

    LE

    Law enforcement has a task to control crime and for all practical purposes ..mongering is considered as moral crime in mumbai

    LE knows all joints and spas

    And nothing works without the knowledge of LE

    So generally such activities are not interrupted by LE
    And off course..LE get their DUES on time by the owners

    So most of the times..LE raid thses stuff out of political rivary of owner

    Famous Renovar Spa chembur and worli is shut due to raid instigated by political rivals of owner .

    Anyways ..when raid occur in spa..

    Generally customers are not touched by LE

    So how to hamdle LE raid on spa ?

    First and foremost

    1..NEVER argue or resist LE

    Just were your dress and walk out of room if LE ask u do that

    Try to cover face with handerkercheif .
    Again if u r wearing cap ..then it helps

    Some times LE has phtographers with them..and always make sure ..your face is coverd and if any photo is clicked ...your face is hidden

    2..Next thing..dont panic

    Just be as clam as possible
    Panic leads to victimisation by LE

    3. If LE ask u for your contact number..give correct one.

    If u have mongering number..it helps.

    Make sure that u know it byheart so that u can rattle it out confidently ..

    So many times ..we dont recollect our own alternate number fully
    And then LE catch the mistake

    4..if LE ask for some money...then give it and finish the matter..
    Generally..do not carry much cash in spa or debit or credit cards

    If LE percieves u as lukkha then thats good..they let u go with small Tochan..( fine )

    5..never try to argue that u dont know that it was spa and other rubbish ..

    Just say sorry to LE and that ends the matter

    Remember LE is not after you..he is aftet big fish ..the owner ..


    Hope this helps



    Uncle Sam
     
  6. praveen12344

    praveen12344 Member

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    You didnt mentioned how to handle lodges when ask ID proof and address proof?
     
  7. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Hi

    This post was about
    How to handle raid in Spa ..

    Regarding
    how to handle raid in Db or in lodge ..
    I wll post soon

    Happy mongering
     
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  8. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Now let me try to answer your querry..

    There are two things are forbidden in mongering..

    1..sex or any related activity with minor

    Never ever indulge in it

    If caught..it takes months to clear police inquiry

    And off course ..loads of money.

    2..going to lodge with out ID..

    If poilce raids a lodge..the only thing which saves u is ID

    If u r with id and ur partner is also having Id and if she is not minor.
    Then LE can not do anything.

    So better to have ID of both when going to lodge

    Now why some of us dont want to give id

    Mostly we dont want to disclose our real identity

    We are afraid
    Now generally all loadge or hotel owners..zerox the id and keep copy with them for their own safty ..
    Generally loadge owners are customer friendly..
    Only very rarely that they go against mongers..

    But one should choose the lodge wisely

    Avoid too shady loadge just to save few bucks in room rent

    Most of the time...the room rent diffenrance between a three star hotel and a lodge is not much.

    So better go to a decent hotel with id rather than going to shady loadge with out id

    If u dont have u r id
    And still u want to go
    Then at least make sure that gal has an Id which is valid

    And please do read the name of the gal and other details on id

    Moslty when Raid occurs..and if u dont have id
    Then LE takes u to seperate room and gal to another room and start grilling u

    Moment u say that gal is your gal friend then LE ask..u her details as per Id

    And thats where u get caught..

    How ?

    Because most of the indies or Db gals have differnt name on Id like aadhar than than there market name

    If u tell cop ..the gals name is Sonu
    And then Addhar card shows...muskan ansari as gals name..then u are screwed..

    So please always make sure the gal atleast has ID which is valid ..and u know her exact name and adress on ID ..


    Now which is the best id for u to show..

    Pan card..it dose not have adress

    Or

    Voter id ..General the photo in voter id is so bad that no one can say that it is u.
    .later u can always deny ..


    So better carry pan card or voter id as id

    Never ever aadhar card
    It gives all details ..

    Finaally what about fake id ?

    All dance bar gals have aadhar card
    How ?
    Most of them are fake

    There are enough places in city to make fake aadhar card..best one is in chembur Chita camp ..

    For around 10000 rs they make it

    I Generally do not recommend it

    As most of the time a good LE .can recognise the fake id

    And then u r in even more trouble..

    So avoid that unless u badly need a fake id ..

    And lastly..never argue with LE in hotel raid..
    LE can screw you with id also if he wants
    So be nice and try not to escalate the matter

    Most of the time if gal is not minor then nothing happens and one can come out with not much dammage

    Remember..LE also know that u r not a criminal or terrorist

    But just a simple man who needs water removal..

    Hope this help

    Uncle Sam
     
  9. Captain

    Captain Newbie

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    This is brilliant Uncle Sam, hope to see more such info posts.
     
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  10. praveen12344

    praveen12344 Member

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    Guruji you are Encyglopedia !!!!
     
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  11. samir140288

    samir140288 Active Member

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    Good initiative..keep going..


    Sent from my ONE A2003 using Tapatalk
     
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  12. funzone699

    funzone699 Reviewer

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    Indeed he is encyclopedia , u need to check his posts n frs in dance bar forum. Helped many people there.

    Sent from my Redmi Note 4 using Tapatalk
     
  13. praveen12344

    praveen12344 Member

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    i read his reviews in another forum.
     
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  14. funzone699

    funzone699 Reviewer

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    Good bro n u must also have read what his chelas has done in that forum also ??

    Sent from my Redmi Note 4 using Tapatalk
     
  15. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Mumbai mongering

    Ghat ke upar..


    Ghatkoper is ever crowded . round the clock traffic jams . Roads dug out . No respite for any one. And off course it has dance bars.

    LBS road is one of the artery of the city..goes from thane to sion .once uopn a time it was full of dance bars. Used to be flooed with workers from various factories along LBS after evening shift . Slowly after 1990 ..factories started to shut down.. land went to builders..and dance bar went on downhill..2005 ban hit it hard most to this area...and it never recovered..

    Now all that is left is hangover of golden era..
    Went on friday night hop on hop off tour of ghatkoper west obs .

    Ghtakoper is only subburb where west part is less rich than East part ..very congested area..and so are the Obs.


    .............
    DP ob ..Dashmesh punjab Bar
    Next to Mahindra park on LBS ghatloper kurla west
    .............

    Kya saab kon si waali ne bulaya hai ?

    An middle aged doorman asked me with suspicion..

    Aare sab to apni wali hi hai..rani teena meena..I bluffed ..

    He smiled..I dont know if any one was indeed up...but he let me walked up the small staircase..

    Typical low end Ob

    5 gals on floor..an orchestra with few customers..

    Mere mehboob kayamat ho..orchestra male singer fellow was actually singing it nicely..

    Whem i am on hop on hop off tour..i dont drink ..so orderd one Coke..

    Gals were 5 ..but all cute..
    Two with figure hugging Saree with shoulder less top and open mid riff and back..
    One with small kanchuki bra..one with front open frock and last with chaniya choli..

    All showing enough cleavage..and customers showing few 20 rs notes ..

    One in corner seems to be vetran of that bar..
    Intermittent self dance mixed with few hip shakes by gals .

    But as compared to navi mumbai or thane ob ..mahol was thanda ..

    Gals were trying to entice the few customers to throw more 20s ..

    I took fancy with one marwadi with frock ..
    Smooth milky thighs ..Bending for every 20 rs note

    Nachti ho kya?

    Asked frock one..she pointed towards chaniya choli..
    Wo accha dance karti hai..

    Asked chaniya choli marwadi my fav question..

    Choli ke peeche kya hai ?

    What ever was behind her red chloi..at least half of it was popping out with her every gyrations..

    Donated her enough for this and left

    Was shocked when bill for one coke was only 200rs in an ob

    Shook hands with black fat gangester look like man who was manager ..and tipped enough to doorman so that next time he remembered my face .
    ..............

    Akshay bar

    U take left from Dp bar and walk along .
    U wil see one small db ..Vaishali..typical LBS set up..with ground floor gents bar and top floor ladies bar..
    It was too small for me to get in.
    So went to next Glittering door..Akshay Bar

    ............

    Nayak nahi khalanayak hai tu..
    The beared male singer was again actually singing it.

    Floor was full with customers..
    6 gals ..decent to good..
    All in sarees..
    Again with ample cleavge show
    Again with customers sitting mainly intersted in drinking than n gals
    Few local government officals
    One muslim man in kurta drinking Tea while making his gal do up down for collecting 50rs note for one round
    Again bill for one coke was only 150 rs
    Along with salad and wafers
    Can u beat this?
    When i tipped 100 rs to waiter of table..he was more than happy

    ..............

    Santosh palace..last stop of night ..another ob on left of raod ahead of mahindra park ..

    ...............

    It was full ..small set up..but gals were plenty..around 10 to 12 atleast..
    Dance full on in one corner..
    Decent to good sitting arrange ments
    As always good chicks with ample cleavage on display..
    Again dirt chip..200 rs for one coke..
    Made two gals dance on two songs..
    Upar ka chatis neeche ka battis
    Bharo maang meri bharo.

    The night ended at 2 am
    The Obs were still on
    .................

    Kiran punjab and one more small ob ahead of it need to be checked..

    Over all ghatkoper west obs seems to BUDGET OBS .
    Not so coslty drinks..not much competion..not so pushing waiters for tips..
    If one is loaded then he can easily be king of these place..and i am sure gals will be more than happy to show ..choli ke peeche kya hai..in day time..

    .................


    It is always good to explore new areas
    New adventures
    New avenues

    Remember my words

    The Search keeps you Young forever.

    Keep searching.
    Keep mongering


    Uncle Sam
     
  16. Shivamrut

    Shivamrut Reviewer

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    Guru ji ...please check your pm..

    Thanks

    Shiva
     
  17. schizophrenia

    schizophrenia Active Member

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    Rivetting description. Hats off. That's what experience does ... magnanimity of sharing knowledge.
     
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  18. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Idea is to make more and more people walk on this path so as to make them reduce the stress of
    this game called
    LIFE in Mumbai

    Happy mind leads to happy work hours which in turn leads to increase in indivisual productivity .

    It is all about being HAPPY

    Uncle Sam
     
  19. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    Brothers
    Lets us understand the basic rule of mongering in Db

    Very important

    All that glitter is never gold in Db.

    How many of you have this experience that
    Db gal who looks like an Pari in Db lights turns out to be horrible kamwali bai when u take her for entry in hotel ..?

    I am sure all of u must have experienced this at least few times in your mongering advanture
    Gal from Db look horrible when seen with out make up

    And all our dreams become KLPD when we see gals in normal dress with out make up outside Db

    And by the time we realise this.
    We have already wasted lot of money and time and energy on her.


    So how to avoid this ..?


    First and foremost.


    Always check gals pics in her mobile..

    Insist her to show them
    Most of the time u will see her non make up photos and that will give u a fair idea .

    Second point

    Gals have habit of video call from Db

    Tell them to do video call in morning from home
    Easy way to confirm the Real looks

    3rd pt

    Always ask gal to come for small coffee before investing money on her

    Gal who looks good with out make up in day light in coffee shop is the one

    Isn' it same like arrange marriage ?

    Yes
    It is

    Women are women

    Be it From dance bar or arrange marriage


    Isn't it?

    Uncle Sam
     
  20. Unclesam

    Unclesam Reviewer

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    What is the definition of Good VIP experience in dance bar ?

    lot of mongers ask me this question

    In one line..

    GOOD VIP experience is when gal is dancing on
    Choli ke peeche kya hai ..

    And u can actually get the answer there itself by opening her choli .


    Uncle Sam
     

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